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Tigress
Registered Member
Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1252
| Posted 4/6/2004 10:12 AM (GMT -6) |   | YOU MIGHT BE A MINNESOTAN IF.....
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through l8
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy," you might live in Minnesota.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Minnesota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Kirby," you might live in
Minnesota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.
If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in
Minnesota.
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters....."
you might live in Minnesota.
Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE MINNESOTAN WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going "up nort" past Brainerd for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. Your whole family wears Viking purple to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Vikings as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Wayzata.
19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pig's Eye Pilsner.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Iowa.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
27. You know how to polka.
28. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
30. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
31. You actually understand these jokes and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends.
Tigress 
"Name a shrub after me. Preferably one that's prickly and difficult to eradicate."
-Captain Jack Aubrey
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" | | Back to Top | | |
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Starkman
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1747
| Posted 4/9/2004 3:38 AM (GMT -6) | | Ah, these are great! I've lived in Minnesota for three years now, and I love the state. I've adopted it as my own (having been born and raised in Cal, this is no surprise!).
I especially like the one-liners that reflect the helpful spirit Minnesotians have: "If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota." That's what it's all about!
Starkman | | Back to Top | | |
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