Open Theism Discussion Board

Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > General Chat > What's Up With JCsites guy?

Forum Quick Jump

[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> | Show Newest Post First ]

JCsites.com
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169

Posted 10/10/2002 11:08 AM (GMT -6)

Folks I could use some serious prayer. I feel so down and depressed as I write this.

As some of you may recall, I moved my family to Atlanta. I really had thought I'd have a job by October. Reality is that I'm no where near a job.

We're very happy with our home, nieghbors, church, but money is starting to run out. Credit debt is starting to climb and I'm scared.

So if you pray for me, please pray that I would listend to the Lord's leadings, that I'd find job and that I'd lead my family out of debt. Major bondage. I have come to absolutely detest credit cards!!!!!!!

This would be a bit less scary for me if I didn't have a 2 year old daugther.

I have been looking for work in Information Technology. But it seems like every job I apply for I'm not perfect enough. There's always someone better than me out there. VERY humbling. Depressing.

I've started going to career networking groups, but it takes time to meeting people and build a life, let alone a career network.

So I'm going to start to look outside of IT and see what else I can do. I'm not much experienced at anything else, so that adds to the fear.

I guess this is all part of my sanctification, and I wonder what I will "look" like at the end of this struggle. But in the midst of it I sure am challenged.

Please pray that I'll get myself more organized with my job search, that the Lord will show me how to best spend my time, and that the Lord would open my mind to consider things I wouldn't have before.

For now, I'm hoping and praying that the Lord would also bring small web design projects my way. $500 websites is my latest thing. Way cheap for what I bring, but I need the money.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I don't share this vulnerably with others cause I don't know anyone that well down here.

Hope all is well with each of you. I miss you all.

Jcsites guy

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 10/10/2002 12:02 PM (GMT -6)

JC!
I'm so sorry. I will definitely be praying for you.
It's always darkest before the dawn, hang in there.
Springs

Electra
Registered Member

Date Joined Feb 2002
Total Posts : 611

Posted 10/10/2002 12:14 PM (GMT -6)

JCsites guy, in a context where public trust in corporations has been broken, businesses should be eager to work with people like you, who contribute not only skills but also character. We will be praying for you and your family. Electra

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Matt. 10:8

Semeia
Registered Member

Date Joined Aug 2001
Total Posts : 522

Posted 10/10/2002 1:32 PM (GMT -6)

JCsites guy,

We'll pray that things improve for you soon. I sent you an email, too.

Thanks,
Semeia

"The opposite of sin is not virtue, but faith."--Soren Kierkegaard

Terry_Baxter
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2002
Total Posts : 187

Posted 10/10/2002 4:30 PM (GMT -6)

Also sent you an email.

Anyone hear of churches having unemployment funds for cases like JCSites'. Sure would be a 'widows and orphans' type ministry that the body of Christ could provide for each other.

Love and anguished prayers,

Terry

selah
Registered Member

Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1210

Posted 10/11/2002 2:18 AM (GMT -6)

quote:

For now, I'm hoping and praying that the Lord would also bring small web design projects my way. $500 websites is my latest thing. Way cheap for what I bring, but I need the money.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I don't share this vulnerably with others cause I don't know anyone that well down here.

Hope all is well with each of you. I miss you all.

Jcsites guy

Jcsites,

Thanks for being vulnerable. I'll be holding your family up in prayer too.

Also, I have a friend who has built a business (out of nothing) doing web design as you describe it. He is successful and has been doing it for so long (getting accounts, networking etc) I could write him and hook you two up if you think it would be helpful.

love,
selah

Then He showed me the river whose waters give life, sparkling like crystal, flowing out from the throne of God and of the Lamb. Rev. 22:1

JCsites.com
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169

Posted 10/11/2002 2:38 AM (GMT -6)

o.k. now I'm a little less down and depressed! I've got a little more time to give some detail as well.

Thanks so much for those of you who have responded. I need all the encouragement I can get.

Some of you have sent e-mail asking if I have a career website. I do! Here's a link to it:
www.jcsites.com/dhresume-is/index.asp

At this site you can download the latest version of my resume, as well as review my career history, read case studies of my work, and view my portfolio. Heck, you can even read a reference from Christus Victory Ministries!
www.jcsites.com/dhresume-is/index.asp?PageID=413

Here's a few details I didn't have time to include when I posted in a hurry yesterday:

We moved to Atlanta into a small 3 bedroom apartment. The third bedroom was to be my office to work on job hunting or little web design contracts. This has been frustrating because our place is so small, my 2 yr. old daughter has been a big distraction for me. She bangs on my office door demanding to see me, or she makes so much noise I can't concentrate well. I've been averaging about 4 hours of productive work a day. Not good.

Well since we moved down here, we've found a wonderful little church. (yeah God!) It's an E-Free church that's been a breath of fresh air. We love the worship. It's no woodland hills with Norm and the gang, but it's real, spirit filled and brings us into His throne room. I NEVER thought I'd visit an E-free church where people raise their hands in worship, or wave banners and dance during worship!

It's a Church with about 150 people. Lots of children my daughter's age and it's been fun getting to know others. I even talked with the pastor about Open View theology! He thinks it not correct, but doesn't consider it heresy and doesn't seem to care much about the topic. Just wants his Church to seek the Lord and increase activity in Prayer and Missions. They are big on Warfare prayer.

I guess you just can't look at a Church's denomination and sum them up on that alone. NEVER thought I'd find an E-FREE church to be like this. Ya they are calvanist, but they don't care that I'm not, so I don't care that they are.

All that to say, I picked up the phone last week and called the Pastor to ask him if I could use the Church as an office. I just need a place of quite solitude so I can focus on my job hunt. Praise the Lord that the Church has un-used office space with a desk and a High Speed internet connection!!! So the pastor was more than happy to let me office there. HUGE help!

But yesterday at my new office, I still had trouble deciding what to do next. There are so many items on my list that are important, I just felt overwhelmed with setting priorities.

Normally I'm good with my time and task management, but I felt so de-railed. That's when I decided to pour out my heart and ask for prayer.

So after my post I took my wife and daughter to a family biblestudy sponsored by my new church. What a blessing it was. Fellowship and being in the word together as a body is so powerful.

As a result I "feel" better, no quite as depressed as when I wrote that post. My situation hasn't changed, but my feeling improved. I think any of you who prayed also really helped.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but I couldn't help but wonder as I dropped off to sleep last night, if the anxiety and depression I was feeling yesterday was an attack from the enemy. I have been feeling so subpar, incompetent, lately. I keep getting rejected for jobs cause I'm not this or that. I feel like such a computer programming pretender or fraud. I just keep trying to remind myself that there are better programmers than me that are having a hard time finding work as well. Anyway I think your prayers and my being in fellowship last night really helped.

By no means is my struggle over, but I just wanted you all to know I'm feeling better than when I posted yesterday.

Do I regret moving to Atlanta? Not a bit. I really believe this is where me and my family are supposed to be. But boy this is hard!

Thanks again, I Love you guys.
JCsites guy

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 10/12/2002 3:58 AM (GMT -6)

JCsites.com dude! Just a couple of things. I went to a Bible school where they have banners and dance and tamborines. I think it's great that some Protestants are moving in this direction. I wish more could join in. Anyhoo...after a while I began to wonder about the integrity of some of it. It was like most concerns with worship. People going through the motions. There were times where spontaneous praise broke out and students grab flags and marched around the auditorium. It was like you could sense the Spirit in a more dynamic way on a few occasion than on others. But in the end I think many charismatic type churches could use both boisterous praise and worship and stillness...awe...quiet. I think the story of the fall of Jericho demonstrates this, plus a multitude of other scriptures.

Second, I feel your pain. I know exactly what you are feeling as you look for a job and can't find anything and then maybe have to go outside your boundaries. It's normal to feel anxious and panicky about changes. These can be stressful periods. I think the thing to do is contemplate those things well in advance. That way you are not caught off guard emotionally.

I will definitely be praying for you guy. Been there, done that!

Brandon
"A life after death can only be thought of in terms of life before it, and nobody can dream of a new earth when there is no old earth to hold any promises"--Henri J.M. Nouwen, "The Wounded Healer"

JCsites.com
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169

Posted 10/13/2002 12:10 PM (GMT -6)

BBBCanada,

Could you elaborate your meaning?

quote:
I think the thing to do is contemplate those things well in advance. That way you are not caught off guard emotionally.

I wasn't sure what you meant exactly. Contemplate what things?

JCsites guy

GregBoyd
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 1818

Posted 10/13/2002 2:39 PM (GMT -6)

JC.sites, sorry to hear about your situation. This website is a testimony to your work, and if there's anything I or the CVM board can do by way of references etc., let us know. IN the meantime, we will keep you in prayer.

Hang tight brother. Keep your eyes focused on the prize and your heart centered in that "peace that passes all understanding."

In his love

Greg

"In Christ...the ONLY THING that matters is faith energized by love." Galatians 5:6

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 10/13/2002 2:48 PM (GMT -6)

JCsites.com dude said:

quote:

BBBCanada,

Could you elaborate your meaning?

quote:
I think the thing to do is contemplate those things well in advance. That way you are not caught off guard emotionally.

I wasn't sure what you meant exactly. Contemplate what things?

JCsites guy

He also said:

quote:
Folks I could use some serious prayer. I feel so down and depressed as I write this.

and

We're very happy with our home, nieghbors, church, but money is starting to run out. Credit debt is starting to climb and I'm scared.

and

So I'm going to start to look outside of IT and see what else I can do. I'm not much experienced at anything else, so that adds to the fear.

and

Please pray that I'll get myself more organized with my job search, that the Lord will show me how to best spend my time, and that the Lord would open my mind to consider things I wouldn't have before.

and

But yesterday at my new office, I still had trouble deciding what to do next. There are so many items on my list that are important, I just felt overwhelmed with setting priorities.

and

As a result I "feel" better, no quite as depressed as when I wrote that post. My situation hasn't changed, but my feeling improved. I think any of you who prayed also really helped.

What I am saying is that with the changes in your life you are bound to have all these feelings you describe above. If you anticipate (contemplate) the changes before hand, you can lower the stress factor in your life.

Awesome book to read? Dr. Archibald Hart's, "The Anxiety Cure." He is practically THE authority on the subject (done more research than anyone else) and he's a Christian who is Professor of Psychology and former Dean of Graduate School of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary in Cali.

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0849942969/qid=1034556125/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-3337128-7788035

I will continue to pray for you.

Brandon
"A life after death can only be thought of in terms of life before it, and nobody can dream of a new earth when there is no old earth to hold any promises"--Henri J.M. Nouwen, "The Wounded Healer"

JCsites.com
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169

Posted 10/13/2002 6:46 PM (GMT -6)

Brandon,

I Thought that's what you were saying, I just didn't want to assume anything.

Unfortunately, you read my post and made some assumptions about me that are not true.

You assumed that I did not antincipate or contemplate the ramifications of changes in my life that would result from my move. You assumed wrongly.

Last April I spent 8 days in the Atlanta area not only looking over the city, but actually interviewing people in my career field. I wanted to learn how the business climate was. Hiring, sales, etc... I also researched Atlanta newspapers on the subject.

I even looked into the quality of school systems, the best place to live for my family with Church location and work location in mind. I utilized a relocation consultant to help me discover areas or issues in relocations that I was unaware of. Very helpful by the way.

Of course, this move was bathed in prayer. Just about anyone who knows me personally, knows that I have been thinking, praying and researching a move for over 2 years.

Please know that this decision and action was not taken lightly without contemplation that "things could go wrong." As a matter of fact, I knew it would be tough.

However, given the research I did, I felt it was likely that I could find some kind of work in my career field. When I visited in April, Enron was not yet full steam, the WorldCom collapse wasn't even on the radar, nor was the Adelphia scandal or any of the other corporate scandals that have severly hurt our nations economy.

In any decision to move, there comes a point of no return. I made the decision to move and we crossed the point of no return before many econmic factors came to light. Before those scandals hit, Most economists were cetain, (including Alan Greenspan) that July2002 would mark the end of recession. Also, I had it on record that the recssion of 2001 did not hit Atlanta that hard.

Now, I knew there were no garauntees, I knew that "experts" could be wrong. But my 8 day visit, wise counsel, prayer and my family's needs all pointed to it being worth the risk to move.

In fact, I don't regret moving at all. I still think it was the right decision. However, once I got here in July, many of the layoffs we saw in minneapolis over 2001 were starting to happen in Atlanta.

I read in the Atlanta paper that it turns out the recession had a "wave" like pattern and that wave was just now hitting Atlanta.

Was I caught off guard? I suppose I was a little. Why? I can't forsee the future, that's why. So is it my fault that I'm feeling down about myself? Maybe, but I suspect just about anyone would.

You try applying for over 50 jobs in 3 months and getting 50 rejections. What do you think that would do to your emotions? Maybe if you would contemplate that applying for 50 jobs would lead to 50 rejections you might not apply for so many so you wouldn't be "caught off gaurd emotionally"?

You get my point Brandon? I feel your remarks, while they might have been well meaning, were actually insensitive and born out of ignorance. Your remarks made me feel as though it is not o.k. for me to express how I'm really feeling. That I should hide it from all but the Lord.

Well I reject that. Of course I don't want to be a burden to anyone, but I also value the body of Christ and I detest hiding my feelings in shame.

After reading what I originally wrote, how could you possibly think that writing an "I told you so" response was a positive thing to do? You should've at least asked what kind of anticipation, preparation and contemplation I did, then if I merited it, made your remarks.

I'm not against saying hard things to brother's who need to hear them. But I also think they come best when fully informed and in the context of a real relationship.

Guess I'm done ranting. Thank you to all of you who have sent notes, and prayed, it's helped alot.

Jcsites guy

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 10/13/2002 7:46 PM (GMT -6)

JCsites.com dude. My deepest apologies. I don't think I made MYSELF clear, which is usually the case.

By no means did I mean to explicitly say or imply:

1. That you did not make any contemplations before hand. To tell you the truth, I figure that with you being the "webmaster" of this site, that that would put you into a category of some "above average" thinking people. Looking at your website, I thought "This guy seems to me to be fairly intelligent in his field of expertise." Therefore, I would not have thought that you made any rash decisions on your move south...especially with a family.

2. What I said was not meant to be an "I told you so" response to your posting.

3. What I was trying to say was, even within context of preparations, UNEXPECTED THINGS CAN CROP UP, SO TRY TO ANTICIPATE THOSE, SO YOU DON'T GET STRESSED OUT.

4. I have been in situations where I thought I was prepared to face it and BOOM! The unexpected happened and I too struggled with the same feelings of depression, etc. This by no means, is meant to say that you HADN'T prepared before your trip down south.

Again, as I see what you write, I can see how you might come to some of these conclusions. And again, I apologize for my lack of clarity.

Brandon
"A life after death can only be thought of in terms of life before it, and nobody can dream of a new earth when there is no old earth to hold any promises"--Henri J.M. Nouwen, "The Wounded Healer"

JCsites.com
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169

Posted 10/13/2002 8:11 PM (GMT -6)

Apology accepted.

That's why I asked for your elaboration. I didn't want to respond to what I interpreted you to mean. When I got your explanation, it still seemed like you meant that I had not anticipated for the worst.

Again, I did consider the worst case scenario. Yes I am now living out the worst case scenario. It's much harder to live through, than you think it will be when you anticipate and plan for it, that's all.

Back in May, when I considered this worst case scenario, I still figured the move would be worth it. Now that I'm living through the worst case scenario, I still have no regrets and am glad and excited to be here.

But debt is mounting and sometimes the pressure can be intense. That's why I need prayer for clarity and wisdom. Thanks for your apology, it means a lot to me.

JCsites guy

Forum Information

Currently it is Monday, November 09, 2026 5:38 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 97,718 posts in 6,040 threads.
In the last 3 days there were 0 new threads and 0 reply posts. View Active Threads

Need Support? | Forum Help Manual