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| Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > General Chat > Take a Break and Giggle | Forum Quick Jump
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 6/14/2003 8:19 AM (GMT -6) |   | Ahhh...sick man. Just sick!  Hey, shouldn't the word be "blow?" It kinda ryhmes with "grow."
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/14/2003 5:14 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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honorman
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2002
Total Posts : 1137
| Posted 6/14/2003 6:07 PM (GMT -6) | | I TOTAllY blew the joke...it should have been they blow up so quickly.
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/14/2003 6:17 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/14/2003 6:18 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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honorman
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2002
Total Posts : 1137
| Posted 6/15/2003 5:14 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 6/15/2003 10:00 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
I TOTAllY blew the joke...it should have been they blow up so quickly.
Totally BLEW the joke??? This is getting worse by the minute. 
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/15/2003 11:51 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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Laika
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 2433
| Posted 6/16/2003 4:08 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
quote:
I TOTAllY blew the joke...it should have been they blow up so quickly.
Totally BLEW the joke??? This is getting worse by the minute.
ROTFLMAO
Third time's a charm!
Even though the skies are blue, don't they let the sunshine through? | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/16/2003 5:41 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/17/2003 2:18 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 6/27/2003 5:52 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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Springs
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636
| Posted 6/29/2003 7:05 PM (GMT -6) | | Mom Always said, wear clean underwear in public. I guess they should be in good repair too.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have it break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was wearing shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
"Your love will kill me." Lyrics by Luc Plamondon for Notre-Dame de Paris, based on The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo. | | Back to Top | | |
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Terry_Baxter
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2002
Total Posts : 187
| Posted 7/10/2003 12:23 PM (GMT -6) | | Been meaning to do this for a while...
If you've never been to www.homestarrunner.com , do yourself a favor and head out there.
It's PG rated humor, no real swearing (at least none worse than you see on this board  ). Well, one of the main characters does tend to say "Holy Crap" a fair amount.
It's kind of guy/geek humor, I think. There's a fair amount of random (cartoonish) violence. Check out the Teen Girl Squad videos, some of the StrongBad emails, and the games are even clever and fun.
Enjoy!
Terry
Edited by - Terry_Baxter on 07/10/2003 5:24:20 PM | | Back to Top | | |
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rossfadeinout
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2002
Total Posts : 428
| Posted 7/11/2003 5:17 AM (GMT -6) | | Terry,
Its so funny tht you just posted the link to homestarrunner.com! My brother told me about the site last week and I have been laughing ever since. StrongBad is the funniest... And his Teen Girl Squad cartoons are good too.
Ross
"Let us remember how common the folly is of going from one faulty extreme into the opposite." -Thomas Reid | | Back to Top | | |
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 7/11/2003 9:28 AM (GMT -6) | | Yeah! It's a hoot!
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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might-be-don
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 830
| Posted 7/11/2003 9:30 AM (GMT -6) | | Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said,
"This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history..
---
"You cannot step twice into the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you." Heraclitus | | Back to Top | | |
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Mayflower
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 445
| Posted 7/11/2003 5:00 PM (GMT -6) | | GOLF GAME
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."
---------
<><
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 7/12/2003 5:48 AM (GMT -6) | | Q: What do you get when you mix holy water and castor-oil?
A: A religious movement.
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 7/16/2003 8:56 AM (GMT -6) | | In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????.....)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh.....fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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Asher
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 477
| Posted 7/16/2003 9:00 PM (GMT -6) | | I was watching TV with my two sons, Nathan (then 11) and Aaron (then 9). A commercial for Stayfree panty liners began extolling to us the virtues of absorbancy and wings. Nathan turns to me and says, "Daddy, what are those?" I'm immediately thinking of exactly how I'm going to answer this question. But Aaron speaks up...
"Naaaaathan! You put 'em in your shoes!"
And I left it at that
Rob
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Asher
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 477
| Posted 7/16/2003 9:23 PM (GMT -6) | | This joke is much better visually...and with props...but here goes...
Three missionaries (or use three people you know, or whatever)...
John Earp, Laika, and DLW are captured in the jungle by a savage tribe. The chief goes up to John Earp and says, "I'm gonna cut you from your neck to your stomach! I'm gonna rip open your rib cage! I'm gonna eat your heart! And I'm gonna use your skin for my canoe! But I'll give you one last request."
John thinks about it and then asks for a knife. The chief, who is surrounded by men with spears, mulls over the request, and then grants it. Instead of enduring the agony of the torture, John takes the knife and plunges it into his heart. A quick death being better than torture.
The chief moves on to Laika. "I'm gonna cut you from your neck to your stomach! I'm gonna rip open your rib cage! I'm gonna eat your heart! And I'm gonna use your skin for my canoe! But I'll give you one last request."
Laika thinks about it and decides John had a pretty good idea to evade the torture, so also asks for a knife. Plunges it straight to the heart and dies on the spot.
The chief turns to DLW. "I'm gonna cut you from your neck to your stomach! I'm gonna rip open your rib cage! I'm gonna eat your heart! And I'm gonna use your skin for my canoe! But I'll give you one last request."
DLW thinks for a moment, then requests...a fork. The chief agrees to the request, wondering "What's he gonna do with a fork???"
DLW takes the fork, starts poking himself all over his chest and stomach and yells, "This is for your canoe!"
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 7/17/2003 4:09 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
"Naaaaathan! You put 'em in your shoes!"
That's cute. Odor eaters! I'm think'n....101 uses?
1. Mask you wear on a plaaaaane to help you sleeeeeep! (staple the elastic band though)
2. Head band to absorb sweat while you run! (don't forget staple and elastic band!)
3. Clean your computer screeeeen!
4. Book marker!
5. Use as a chamois to clean glasses or buff up chrome on your car!
6. Shoulder pads!
Too much!
Brandon
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.--Isa 49:15-16
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Laika
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 2433
| Posted 7/17/2003 5:21 AM (GMT -6) | | Asher
quote:
"Naaaaathan! You put 'em in your shoes!"
And I left it at that
LOL
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Laika
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 2433
| Posted 7/17/2003 5:23 AM (GMT -6) | | BBBBrandon
quote:
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
Improper translation, no doubt.
I've gotten manuals for Japanese equipment in machine-translated English and not only are they incomprehensible, they are hilarious.
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