 |
| Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > General Chat > SNAKE OIL (part one) | Forum Quick Jump
|
| 
PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 7/6/2002 6:10 AM (GMT -6) |   | Some of my neighbor's fellow home schoolers found this at Ebay and thought it was very funny! But she said that she is "not buying it."
Title of item: All-Purpose Rock-O-Matic: It Goes Anywhere!
Seller: tsod-com
Starts: Jul-04-02 16:43:54 PDT
Ends: Jul-14-02 16:43:54 PDT
Price: Starts at $9.00
To bid on the item, go to: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2119395644
Item Description:
Limited EditionRalphcorp
Rock-o-Matic!
The amazing wonder tool of the New Millennium...
The Windows-Compatible Rock-o-Matic!
This modern marvel performs dozens of important household functions with no batteries or moving parts.
There's nothing to replace - - ever!
Aged thousands of years for perfect contour, weight, and texture! Made of genuine MagmaTM, the material 3-out-of-four geologists recommend for such products--Accept no cheap imitations!
You'll find the Rock-o-Matic handier than spit for:
Holding Down Important Papers...
Imagine a winning lottery ticket... Grandma's Last Will and Testament... and even Pages From the Bible being ripped from your desktop by a passing breeze... It could happen to you! With the Ralphcorp Rock-o-Matic, your precious papers are safe and secure. Laboratory tests prove that the Rock-o-Matic will reliably anchor full-sized newspapers amid 5-knot breezestorms!
Keeping doors Open Open Open!
Has this ever happened to you? You think a door is open, only to find that it's actually closed! How annoying! Defeat those door-swinging gremlins with the Rock-o-Matic! It holds the biggest hollow-core door open, allowing you to pass from room-to-room like a greasy ghost! Only the Rock-o-Matic can be trusted to resist "Sqilzis," the property that allows normal doorstops to slide, creep and give way to the pressure (the Rock-o-Matic is not recommended for metal or solid wood doors, or for doors equipped with springs or other automatic closure devices, or for floor types other than thick carpeting).
And it's the perfect home security device!
Keep a loaded gun under the mattress? Not with kids around! Instead, keep the Rock-o-Matic at your bedside. At the first sign of home intrusion, bean the bad boy with the amazing Rock-o-Matic! Applied with sufficient force, the Rock-o-Matic inflicts a nasty bump, leaving the intruder unconscious, dazed, or at very least quite annoyed. And yet, it's safe enough to keep with you in the bathtub!
..and there are hundreds of other proven uses for the Rock-o-Matic!
It's the wonder tool archaeologists call "the first hammer!"
Through this special online offer, you can purchase a Limited Edition Rock-o-Matic, which has been hand-numbered by the Ralphcorp staff.
This is Rock-o-Matic #5, making it one of the first six production items.
This will be a treasured heirloom, and might dramatically escalate in value!
The Rock-o-Matic's earthtone coloring fits with virtually any decor, bringing a bit of refined elegance to the shabbiest dump of a room.
This is similar to products you'll find near such world-famous sites as The Grand Canyon, The Great Pyramids of Egypt, and even Stonehenge!
But wait, there's more!
As a special FREE GIFT , we'll include a special Rock-o-Matic carry case.It's crystal clear, meaning you'll never have to guess at what's inside.
The color-coordinated blue and yellow opening flaps turn green when the case is properly closed, meaning you're assured of hermetic integrity!
You'll have loads of fun with the genuine, Limited Edition Rock-o-Matic!
Please note that none of the foregoing information can be considered a guarantee of performance; this device is sold completely "as is."
Add $10 U.S. shipping/insurance; U.S. addresses & currency only.
Except for carry case, items shown with rock are not included (e.g., flowers/vase, human hand/bracelet, burglar, magic marker, door, important paper, etc.).
Text & Photos Copyright ©2002, Ralphcorp Division of TSOD All Rights Reserved
BID NOW! | | Back to Top | | |
 | Forum Information | Currently it is Monday, November 09, 2026 1:15 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 97,718 posts in 6,040 threads.
In the last 3 days there were 0 new threads and 0 reply posts. View Active Threads
|
Forum powered by dotNetBB v2.42EC SP3
dotNetBB © 2000-2026 |
|
|