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DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 7/10/2003 10:53 AM (GMT -6) |   | Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it
is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed access to the other side of
the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross
the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already
forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How
much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens
crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and
when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for
chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing the roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
California Governor, GREY DAVIS
I was not prepared for the chicken to cross. The shortages of road
for the chicken to cross was caused by power companies in Texas
and we will have to raise Taxes on Cigarettes and Beer to have
money for more roads for the Chickens to cross.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
Prayer from Kenya
From the Cowardice that dare not face new truth,
From the Laziness that is contented with half-truth,
From the Arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Lord Deliver Me. | | Back to Top | | |
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Starkman
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1747
| Posted 7/10/2003 12:12 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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Springs
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636
| Posted 7/10/2003 7:30 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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selah
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1210
| Posted 7/11/2003 2:48 AM (GMT -6) | |  cute.
love
selah
Then He showed me the river whose waters give life, sparkling like crystal, flowing out from the throne of God and of the Lamb. Rev. 22:1 | | Back to Top | | |
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One Love
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 13888
| Posted 7/11/2003 5:28 AM (GMT -6) | | Heh. I just can't help myself...
Q: Why did the egg roll across the street?
A: To go get laid by a healthy chick.
Hopefully, this wasn't too offensive to ya. If it was, sue me or pray for me. Whichever you feel inclined to do. 
Definitely the Prince of Darkness,
| | Back to Top | | |
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JCsites.com
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169
| Posted 7/11/2003 6:39 AM (GMT -6) | | DLW where'd you get that? Did you write it? Very funny.
JC Sites guy
Make Posts Not War... | | Back to Top | | |
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DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 7/11/2003 10:13 AM (GMT -6) | | It was forwarded to me by my grandmother...
thanks though for thinking I could write such,
dlw
Prayer from Kenya
From the Cowardice that dare not face new truth,
From the Laziness that is contented with half-truth,
From the Arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Lord Deliver Me. | | Back to Top | | |
|
DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 7/11/2003 11:57 AM (GMT -6) | | lame jokes are mostly an offense to the intellect, not the soul...
Why'd the chicken cross the board?
To Solve the Problem of Evil=Ev+Il!
dlw
quote:
Heh. I just can't help myself...
Q: Why did the egg roll across the street?
A: To go get laid by a healthy chick.
Hopefully, this wasn't too offensive to ya. If it was, sue me or pray for me. Whichever you feel inclined to do.
Definitely the Prince of Darkness,
Prayer from Kenya
From the Cowardice that dare not face new truth,
From the Laziness that is contented with half-truth,
From the Arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Lord Deliver Me. | | Back to Top | | |
|
JCsites.com
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 169
| Posted 7/11/2003 12:30 PM (GMT -6) | | DLW you're so funny...
Make Posts Not War... | | Back to Top | | |
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DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 7/11/2003 3:34 PM (GMT -6) | | Greg Boyd:
To Center herself on the Center...
dlw
Prayer from Kenya
From the Cowardice that dare not face new truth,
From the Laziness that is contented with half-truth,
From the Arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Lord Deliver Me. | | Back to Top | | |
|
DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 7/12/2003 6:23 AM (GMT -6) | | DLW:
to remake the world/board in their own image!
dlw
Prayer from Kenya
From the Cowardice that dare not face new truth,
From the Laziness that is contented with half-truth,
From the Arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Lord Deliver Me. | | Back to Top | | |
|
BillZeeBub
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 11
| Posted 7/22/2003 8:45 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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