 |
Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > General Chat > (No Subject)
| Forum Quick Jump
|
| 
BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 12/2/2003 4:16 AM (GMT -6) |   | Just popp'n in to say hi to y'all. And on a serious note. 
and
Christ's Second Coming Thwarted at US-Canadian Border
Border Patrol look away from the Lord's radiant light
as they carry Him away
NIAGARA FALLS, ON (Canada) – The return of Christ to earth and the rapture of the church will both have to wait, thanks to American customs agent Richard Corning. Corning thwarted the apocalypse when he halted Jesus Christ's vehicle on its way across the Canadian border with the United States.
The stop was troublesome from the start, when Corning asked Jesus his country of origin. When Jesus indicated that he was born in the Middle East, Corning began to question the intentions of the Lord's trip into the United States. THO obtained the following transcript of the conversation, taken from the booth's security camera.
Richard Corning: "Nation of birth?"
Jesus Christ: "I was born in the area you know as the Middle East."
Corning: "What were you doing in Canada?"
Christ: "I was spreading the good news."
Corning: "What, are you some kind of preacher or something?"
Christ: "It is as you say."
Corning: "How long are you planning to be in the United States?"
Christ: "Just long enough to gather my followers together on the way to Jerusalem."
Corning: "Jerusalem! What are you going to do there?"
Christ: "The kingdom of God is at hand."
Corning: "All right, pal. Step out of the car. I'm gonna need to see some I.D., too."
Richard Corning on the job
It was at this point the encounter moved out of reach of the recording device in the customs booth. Witnesses indicate that the questioning went on for a short time longer before customs agents and border patrol reinforcements came and placed Jesus in handcuffs. Shortly thereafter, a blinding light surrounded the Lord, forcing everyone near to turn away. It was then that the visibly frustrated Messiah gave up and ascended back to heaven.
Peter Browning, a native of Buffalo, was there to observe the ordeal. "Well, first they just kinda shook their fingers at him and asked him who he thought he was," noted Browning. "But then they started to get rough, and they put him on the hood of a police car. It was like they thought he was a terrorist or something. That's when that big flash of light came. Then he just—flew away!"
Eschatologists claim that this incident is indicative of a profound lack of preparedness for the end times. John Hagee, founder of John Hagee Ministries, was passionate in his response to the event: "This is clearly a fulfillment of my recent sermon on the four custom agents of the final days! Church, you've got to get ready for the Lord's return! Will you join us in a covenant of loyalty to Christ? Won't you donate to the cause of telling all the world about Jesus, so that no customs agent on any border will ever thwart the rapture again?"
The encounter at Niagara Falls marks the second unfortunate postponement of the Lord's return in the last 25 years. The previous attempt in 1981 failed when Jesus tried to make passage from West Berlin to East Berlin and was met with gunfire and attack dogs at the Berlin Wall.
Brandon
"Corporations are simply the kind of structure that rises when hordes of people need to be managed, and after spending some time in a large church, I've found that our spirituality does not exempt us from these inefficient and dehumanizing practices."--Steve Lansingh's review of "The Office" at The Film Form | | Back to Top | | |
 |
Tiggers
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 219
| Posted 12/3/2003 5:52 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by BBBCanada
Hey Tiggers,
You can see it at: www.etsjets.org/
Click on "2003 Membership Challenge on Open Theism" on the sidebar. Now you can read Clark's November 19th statement (of which I had absolutely nothing to do with) or you can scroll down and read, "Dr. Nicole's Extended Charges Against Dr. Clark Pinnock" and Clark's response there (of which my dirty mittens are all over by way of editing  ).
As for my self? I have viewed the site somewhat. In going to lunch on a few occasions with Clark and being over to his house and chatting and sitting by in the wings watching him (mostly reading his stuff, but also tracking the whole ETS membership challenge in CT, etc), I have ALWAYS believed that he is as he says--open to correction. That's integrity IMHO. The man is "in process," as we all are.
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1928915027/qid=1070464329/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/103-5255723-1668625?v=glance&s=books
Hey BBBCanada,
Thanks for the link, and I have actually skimmed through Pinnock’s journey towards renewal by Barry Callen at Gordon-Conwell a couple years ago…it would definitely be a great read; however, I must wait until after the Christmas season to purchase it. Hey, here is something amazing for ya, James Scott strikes a wonderful critique on a book I’m quite sure he’s never ever read, pathetic!
Warmly in Christ,
Tiggers
“The notion that God uses evils as a means to such higher goods is, … incompatible with the doctrine that he is omnipotent, and therefore does not need to use deplorable means to achieve his ends” (J.L. Mackie). | | Back to Top | | |
|
Tiggers
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 219
| Posted 12/3/2003 7:48 AM (GMT -6) | | BBBCanada Questions,
Did he actually NOT read it?
Tigger’s Reply,
Ok, Ok…sorry  , so I can’t say from reading his review that he has or hasn’t read the book, but on the real, it’s no more than an attack on a theology and theologian. Sheesh, he’ll give several reviews on a single openness book and from reading the books (e.g. God at War, God of the possible, Problem of Pain, etc.), and especially his earlier reviews, there is often not even interaction with the book itself. Anyways, I’m starting to get  again…sorry! God bless ya, BBB!
Warmly in Christ,
Tiggers
“The notion that God uses evils as a means to such higher goods is, … incompatible with the doctrine that he is omnipotent, and therefore does not need to use deplorable means to achieve his ends” (J.L. Mackie). | | Back to Top | | |
|
BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 12/3/2003 8:08 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
| Forum Information | Currently it is Monday, November 09, 2026 1:50 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 97,718 posts in 6,040 threads.
In the last 3 days there were 0 new threads and 0 reply posts. View Active Threads
|
Forum powered by dotNetBB v2.42EC SP3
dotNetBB © 2000-2026 |
|
|