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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/8/2002 12:16 PM (GMT -6) |   | EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on
their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I
was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant
and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time... | | Back to Top | | |
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trosie
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 550
| Posted 4/8/2002 2:43 PM (GMT -6) | | POW, I think you might enjoy this. I received it this morning in a e-mail:
Subject: huge response to an ad
The following ad is reported to have gotten numerous calls...
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity
unimportant.
I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in
the
woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing
trips,
cozy
winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me
eating
out
of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the
front
door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Kiss
me
and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."
..........
..........
..........
.............
Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an
eight-week-old black Lab.
Gotcha! I bet you weren't thinking about a dog as you read this? 
trosie
"You can't have a law without if reflecting some worldview ... For all law is the imposition of someone's values." Brandon | | Back to Top | | |
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geej
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93
| Posted 4/8/2002 5:20 PM (GMT -6) | | C'mon Pot, don't you know that dogs are one of the only creatures (other than God) in this world who love you with agape love? They are positive and MUCH smarter than cats. Cats just ridicule you and allow you to live in THEIR house and serve them! Dogs, enjoy community and hanging out with you. 
Geej
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/8/2002 5:45 PM (GMT -6) | | Geej,
I'm a dog person.
It was an email my wife forwarded. | | Back to Top | | |
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geej
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93
| Posted 4/9/2002 10:57 AM (GMT -6) | | They go through my dog mailing lists every now and then. They are fun.
Geej
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trosie
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 550
| Posted 4/9/2002 6:08 PM (GMT -6) | | Hey, POW and Geez, was my post not good? I'm for serious. I had my doubts of posting it because I thought perhaps it wasn't in good taste???? I just thought it was cute but hey, I like humor! I don't want to offend though... What do you think? I can delete it -- you think I should?
Give me some feedback -- would ya pleeeeeaaaaasssee??????
trosie
"You can't have a law without if reflecting some worldview ... For all law is the imposition of someone's values." Brandon | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/9/2002 6:25 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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geej
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93
| Posted 4/11/2002 10:15 AM (GMT -6) | | Trosie
As an extremely warped person, I can say that I found great humour in your post! I've been trying to post a picture but haven't figured it out yet.
GJ
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 4/12/2002 1:56 PM (GMT -6) | | I wish I could do that HTML picture thingy. Anyhoo...here's one that I really like!
www.thedoormagazine.com/webintro/toons/7_27_00car.html
By the way trose...I got a chuckle out of your post. No harm done.
Brandon
"Nerds," incidentally, are almost always men." 6 Modern Myths About Christianity & Western Civilization
Edited by - BBBCanada on 04/12/2002 6:57:05 PM | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/12/2002 6:51 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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trosie
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 550
| Posted 4/13/2002 5:52 AM (GMT -6) | | Thanks for the humor y'all! Brandon, thanks for directing us to this site -- I went back and looked at some of the previous weeks pictures (they're funny!!!)
I appreciate having this light and humerous thread that POW started -- for me humor helps put life into perspective!
Please keep it coming!!!!!
trosie
"You can't have a law without if reflecting some worldview ... For all law is the imposition of someone's values." Brandon | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/13/2002 6:58 AM (GMT -6) | | | Trosie, are YOU going to post your favorites? | | Back to Top | | |
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 4/13/2002 7:46 AM (GMT -6) | | POW is the master! Thanks for putting that up. Trose, you're right, humor is good to put life into perspective. I'm trying to not take life so seriously. I find that laughing and talking are postive for me both emotionally and physically. I think it was a good idea to put up a humor thread as well. I mean God has a sense of humor...I mean he made you guys right?
Brandon
"Nerds," incidentally, are almost always men." 6 Modern Myths About Christianity & Western Civilization | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/13/2002 1:12 PM (GMT -6) | | Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort
in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and
escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "
So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got
air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no
telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake --
he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff,
and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just
where are you going to get a lawyer?"
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trosie
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 550
| Posted 4/13/2002 7:19 PM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Trosie, are YOU going to post your favorites?
I don't have one at the present time but I will dig through my favorites later. What I did want to say is that lately I've been getting this desire to go see the play Triple Expresso again. If you live in the Mpls./St. Paul area it is a MUST see play! It is two hours of TOTAL humor! If your funds are low there might even be rush tickets available right before the show starts. I LOVE HUMOR!
POW, I liked the joke about hell
trosie
"You can't have a law without if reflecting some worldview ... For all law is the imposition of someone's values." Brandon | | Back to Top | | |
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 4/14/2002 6:03 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just
where are you going to get a lawyer?"
True enough...that's almost blasphemous!
Brandon
"Nerds," incidentally, are almost always men." 6 Modern Myths About Christianity & Western Civilization | | Back to Top | | |
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geej
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93
| Posted 4/18/2002 7:42 AM (GMT -6) | | For the three most important reasons why I am a little "nuts" over my dogs, go to the following site.
www.clubphoto.com
type in glorijeanh@msn.com
if it asks for a password, its tundra.
geej
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Jeffrywith1e
Registered Member
Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 34
| Posted 4/22/2002 9:28 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
For the three most important reasons why I am a little "nuts" over my dogs, go to the following site.
www.clubphoto.com
type in glorijeanh@msn.com
if it asks for a password, its tundra.
geej
good lookin dogs, you have there
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 4/22/2002 11:17 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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geej
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93
| Posted 4/24/2002 12:01 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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