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One Love
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 13888

Posted 4/14/2008 6:49 PM (GMT -6)

Check it out, y'all. Be blessed.

4/13/2008
Free to Shine
Dwayne Polk
Woodland Hills Church

Whoever knows and recognizes how near God’s Kingdom is to him may say with Jacob, “God is in this place, and I knew it not.”
Meister Eckhart, "The Nearness of the Kingdom"

Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the Kingdom of God is within you.

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 4/14/2008 7:49 PM (GMT -6)

Today I had a situation on my city bus in which this lady rang the bell before her stop and I try to remind people sometimes in a friendly manner to ring the bell for the stop they are intending to get off at. Needless to say, this lady started talking down at me and eventually in a pompous manner said, "Just drive." When she got off the bus she proceeded to say something else and I shut the door and said, "Buh-bye." I was fuming. I started think'n about all kinds of ways I could get her back such as when I came back around to where she was at (I had to do a loop in my route) I would drive right by her ("Hey, you told me to "Just drive!! So I'm doing it! Buh-bye sucka!"

. And though I would probably have been reprimanded for such inhospitality, I at least would have felt pretty good passing her up.

Sometimes, I have to deal with this kind of attitude day in and day out. We had a guy come to our city sometime ago to do a study for a new superhighway between Canada and the US. He was from New York. The one thing he said about Windsor is that we as a city have a self-esteem problem about ourselves. And people do. There is just soooo much attitude here.

Over the last few weeks, I had to ask myself, how is it that I can deal with this cloud hanging over this city. You, D, say that we need to allow the light of the Holy Spirit shine in and out of us. That we can't do this in our own strenght. While I agree with this, how do you do this when you have to deal with negativity CONSTANTLY?

Brandon

It is the purpose that makes strong the vow, but vows to every purpose must not hold.--A friend.

To love without love is slavery--Mother Teresa

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 4/14/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -6)

By the way, Word on the sermon.

Brandon

It is the purpose that makes strong the vow, but vows to every purpose must not hold.--A friend.

To love without love is slavery--Mother Teresa

One Love
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 13888

Posted 4/14/2008 8:06 PM (GMT -6)

Brandon:
While I agree with this, how do you do this when you have to deal with negativity CONSTANTLY?

It's my experience that consistent personal negativity is the perfect opportunity to throw oneself on Christ in utter humility and rely ONLY on God's power to love the "enemy."

These have been my words...

"Father, I cannot forgive this person right now. I don't WANT to forgive this person right now! I don't have the power within myself. I confess that my ego is majorly trippin...and I can't stop it! I NEED YOU to help me. Right now! PLEASE!!!!"

And lo, and behold, the Spirit comes in and POW...new realization of my own sin...and an opportunity to change.

Hurts like hell, but the growth is wonderful. Just like bodily working out.

Thanks for the kudos, homie.

Whoever knows and recognizes how near God’s Kingdom is to him may say with Jacob, “God is in this place, and I knew it not.”
Meister Eckhart, "The Nearness of the Kingdom"

Similitude
Registered Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 4968

Posted 4/14/2008 9:24 PM (GMT -6)

Brandon, let me add this, too. What I find helpful in such circumstances is remembering that people who are negative in that way actually see the world in a way that renders that negativity rational to them. We can't expect them to just see what we see. Looking at the circumstance in this light, we see what Jesus and Paul mean when they tell us to try to overcome evil with good. In some cases, we may not be able to do that with the person in question. But by bearing the infirmities of the weak, you are alleviating what may be even worse consequences for your fellow-travellers. So at least you have done good by them. In this you can rejoice that you suffer while doing good for others as Christ did. God is pleased with your forebearance. And it is He from whom you ultimately want praise. Think on that when you feel yourself growing weary in well-doing! cheers

One Love
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 13888

Posted 4/14/2008 9:29 PM (GMT -6)

Exactamundo, Jeff!

Whoever knows and recognizes how near God’s Kingdom is to him may say with Jacob, “God is in this place, and I knew it not.”
Meister Eckhart, "The Nearness of the Kingdom"

Similitude
Registered Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 4968

Posted 4/14/2008 9:40 PM (GMT -6)

To use a word you use a lot, D, it really is about perspective. As long as we keep in focus all the relationships entailed in these encounters, we can suffer and still be completely in tune with the beauty of right-relating involved. And that's exactly what you're saying. Which is why we can have joy IN the suffering. And this is why walking in the spirit, watching in prayerfulness, is so crucial--it's what maintains that PERSPECTIVE that allows us to keep the joy alive in the midst of suffering.

The suffering is natural. It is natural to feel hurt when people are disrespectful to you when you're just doing your job in a way that is best for all concerned. But making the best of a bad situation is a beautiful thing even when it requires suffering. Indeed, ESPECIALLY then! Rock on with that beautiful forebearance, Brandon! biggrin

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 4/14/2008 11:13 PM (GMT -6)

Dang Jeff...that there is some good word too man! And thanks for clarification D. Hallelujah! When you, Jeff, say,

"But by bearing the infirmities of the weak, you are alleviating what may be even worse consequences for your fellow-travellers. So at least you have done good by them."

I'm thinking you mean that the sin and infirmity that they are caught up in is making them into this ugly duckling. Amen? The consequences? By my alleviating their sin and infirmity, that darkness of Eph 5 is what is being held back--being held in check. Right? Also, when the negativity is rational to them and you can see that? You can't help but start to feel some sense of sympathy for such poor and lost souls.

Brandon

It is the purpose that makes strong the vow, but vows to every purpose must not hold.--A friend.

To love without love is slavery--Mother Teresa

PotOnWheel
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890

Posted 4/15/2008 8:54 AM (GMT -6)

Listened.

Heard.

Needed it.

Thanks.

(o)

Similitude
Registered Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 4968

Posted 4/15/2008 7:49 PM (GMT -6)

Brandon: I'm thinking you mean that the sin and infirmity that they are caught up in is making them into this ugly duckling. Amen? The consequences? By my alleviating their sin and infirmity, that darkness of Eph 5 is what is being held back--being held in check. Right? Also, when the negativity is rational to them and you can see that? You can't help but start to feel some sense of sympathy for such poor and lost souls.

Jeff: I took a social-style class at work that goes a bit further than the Meyers-Briggs stuff. Their labels were different too. But anyway, these psychologists have determined that, for the most part, people fall into one of 4 basic social styles. They're depicted in a 4-quadrant grid where the 2 quadrants above the X-axis are task-oriented, the 2 quadrants below the X-axis are people-oriented, the 2 quadrants to the left of the Y-axis are ask-oriented, and the 2 quadrants to the right of the Y-axis are tell-oriented.

The upper left quadrant is task-oriented and tell-oriented. Each group is a bit needy in some respect. Those in the upper left quadrant were called drivers. They need more control than most people. They tend to be tell-oriented in an autocratic way. They hate being "seen sweating." Moreover, the initial stress behavior of each style is to become more of what you already are. If you're naturally more autocratic than 75% of the population, you become even more so when you're stressed, until you become so stressed you move to another quadrant.

So your story sounds like this to me.

You're reminding a rider of a rule that was made for the greatest well-being and safety of all riders. That rider was a "driver." But she took your reminder in a spirit in which it was not intended. She perceived you as talking down to her in such a way that she felt like she was seen "sweating" in the sense that she was subordinate to you rather than in control. Thus, she was stressed and did what stressed drivers tend to do--she autocratically TOLD you to "JUST DRIVE." That was her trying to gain control and the perception of control.

Now, as bizarre as it may seem to us that aren't drivers, that lady was responding defensively to what she perceived as an insult or an attack upon her ego. Because her sense of ego in social situations is about control to a large extent. Each of the other 3 types have their own neediness that tends to impel them to different types of dysfunctional behavior.

And what's worse, when we're stressing each other, we tend to interpret each other's actions and intents in terms of being analogous to our own--and THIS is NOT the case. Each style, when stressed, is expressing something that the other styles would not be expressing by the same behavior. We need to always keep this in mind. It's that perspective thang, again. IOW, we have to learn to subject our own ego-neediness so that we can think about the needs of others so we can more effectively overcome evil with good. "A soft answer turns away wrath."

Once we understand that weak people have very little perspective and that their own ego-needs are going to color their interpretations of what we say and do, it is easier for us to learn how to forebear in meekness so as to not further stress these people and thereby cause them to become even MORE unobjective in their interpretations of us.

What was awesome about the class, is that they recommend to each style how to "flex" to other styles so that they will be less likely to misinterpret you. You can probably find some info on the web about it. Try this one for an intro (I just found it): http://www.tracomcorp.com/products_services/social_style/model.html

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 4/15/2008 11:59 PM (GMT -6)

I say, "Word" again! biggrin

Brandon

It is the purpose that makes strong the vow, but vows to every purpose must not hold.--A friend.

To love without love is slavery--Mother Teresa

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