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Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 1/8/2003 5:10 AM (GMT -6)

Hi all-

I knew the title would drag SOME of you in.

I’m preparing a talk for a group of teenagers. They want to discuss premarital sex. Now, one thing I’ve noticed about teenagers (these teenagers at least) is that it’s not usually enough to just say, “The Bible commands such and such, so obey.” This isn’t because they don’t want to bow to the authority of the Bible. A lot of times it’s because they want to understand WHY God commands certain things. OK, it’s wrong to murder. Why? Well, we could say that to murder is to fail to value human life. Get behind the command. There’s a stop sign at the intersection. Why the command to “Stop”? Well, because you place your life in danger if you speed through the intersection without stopping. When God says, “Don’t do this!” there are good and loving reasons why he says it.

So, two things about premarital sex. Fist, is there a biblical command prohibiting premarital sex? Where is it found? What’s the Bible really say about premarital sex? Secondly, assuming premarital sex is forbidden, WHY is it forbidden? Why is premarital sex dangersous, unwise, or harmful?

Perhaps a passage to springboard off of: 1Cor. 6.9-20

quote:
9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders. 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 12 "Everything is permissible for me"-- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"-- but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Teenager: Here’s what I’m thinking. The prohibitions against sexual immorality in the Bible speak to adultery, homosexuality, orgies, and doing it with prostitutes and animals, right? But none of this really speaks to premarital sex between to unmarried people (a guy and a girl obviously). All those things can be wrong, and I think they are, and I’d never be involved in them, but premarital sex between me and my girl friend is different. One, we love each other. It’s not a lust-feast. Two, we’re both single, so it’s not adultery. Three, we’re not for sale to multiple lovers, so it’s not prostitution. And we use contraceptives, so we’re being responsible. Ero, premarital sex is not wrong.

Thoughts?

Tom

Love never ends

Starkman
Registered Member

Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1747

Posted 1/8/2003 5:47 AM (GMT -6)

I think if you start with Adam and Eve--the concept of two people becoming one, in order to begin a full display in living color of the image of the (Triune) God, you'll be on a sound foundation.

Adam the man: made in the image of God
Eve the woman: made in the image of the man (and in the image of God)
Children of this union: made in the image of both the man and woman, completing the fullness of the imagery of (the Triune) God and of relationship: man to God, man to man, and man to himself.

What follows from this is an understanding of the breakdown that can happen if the concept is thwarted; broken relationship and an attempt to unite two relationships that shouldn't be related. It's why Paul could talk in such oneness terms in regard to the situation of people (Christians in this case) uniting their bodies in an inappropriate manner--outside of the marriage bed.

I think the real issue, the behind-the-scenes sense of it all, is the breakdown of relationship. When man's sexuality is outside of the perameters set in Genesis, he is thus outside of relationship in the manner that should circumscribe his sexuality and life in general.

Hope this adds something, Tom.

For oneness,

Starkman

ReasonableDoubt
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 655

Posted 1/8/2003 6:16 AM (GMT -6)

It is interesting that ancient Jewish law did not forbid sex between two unmarried persons of the opposite sex, although it was frowned upon. You'll note there is no prohibition against prostitution either in the Old Testament. "Sexual immorality" was defined as adultery, homosexual acts, bestiality, and incest. As a practical matter what we consider "premarital sex" nowdays was not practiced, as a daughter would be given by her father for marriage as a property transaction. The groom and his family were entitled to "undamaged goods." Women who were not marriageable for one reason or another could be prostitutes without violating the law. What they did didn't matter.
On another note, a married man did not commit adultery by sleeping with a single woman. Adultery was defined as a married woman sleeping with a man not her husband. The violation was against the husband, by both the wife and the other man.
In the New Testament, when Jesus is asked about divorce, it does seem that he advocated changing this sexist definition.
This does not answer your question but I believe it is an interesting historical note.

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 1/9/2003 8:21 AM (GMT -6)

adiaphora-

Where did Chucks3371's post go?

Tom

Love never ends

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 1/9/2003 3:32 PM (GMT -6)

Here is a link to the "Sex. What's it good for?" thread.

www.gregboyd.org/gbfront/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1522

It happened again. I wrote a post and the 'puter went bye-bye's. Ugh...

Anyway, what I was basically saying was that there are no "brute acts." Every event occurs within the context that contributes to its meaning. That is a human act is not dependent on the act itself but also on the context in which it transpires, which would also included the actor's intent. Therefore the meaning of the sex act is dependent not only on the sex act itself, but also the context in which it occurs.

What this means is that the context is crucial so much so that in certain contexts the sex act is simply inappropriate. According to the Bible, the divinely intended meanings of the sex act emerge only when the act occurs within one specific context: marriage.

When engaged in improperly, the sex act is no longer the positive meaningful, beautiful act that it is designed to be, but instead expresses self-gratification, adultery, infidelity or exploitation. When engaged in properly, it is then that the positive meaning of the act is found. This raises questions of the relation of the sex act to the marital bond of which we can delve into further if you would like.

Brandon
"Truth is so obscured nowadays and lies so well established that unless we love the truth we shall never recognize it."--Todd Flanders/ Pascal: Talkin' 'bout My Generation

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