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Thereisnospoon
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 1

Posted 3/24/2003 7:04 PM (GMT -6)

If anyone is willing to discuss it, there is a common thread to several posts here that I find unbiblical. Rather that write a long thesis, I'll just lay out my thoughts this way.

I) Premise (implied or explicit from some): The goal of our interactions is make those with whom we interact feel loved.

A) On the contrary, our goal in all things is to act in love, not be perceived as loving.

1)We cannot control the reactions of others to our interactions.

a) Even if we act in a loving way we may not be perceived as loving.

2) Things that make people "feel" loved may in fact be the opposite of love.

a) Because people are warped by sin, they may interpret sexual pleasure, lack of judgement, compliments, energetic conversation, physical contact, money, and a host of other things as love.

B) Jesus did not make everyone feel loved.

1) In addition to the overused canard of the pharisees, others in the Jesus' life certainly didn't always feel loved by him. The rich young ruler, and even the disciples seem to receive Truth instead of a 'feeling' of being loved by Jesus. Was a feeling of love the highest priority when Jesus intentionally waiting a few days to visit the family of Lazarus and resurrect him?

a) Notice that when others were abandoning Jesus, the 12 didn't stay because He made them feel good, but because He had the words of life (Truth).

2) Most of Jesus' parables describe either hard to comprehend Truths of the Kingdom, or people interacting with the Kingdom in Faith, not about feeling loved.

C) New Testament writers clearly lay out priorities for our interactions other than 'making others feel loved.'

1) The verses most often cited that point out the necessity of love are matched by others pointing out the necessity of Faith and Truth (among others).

a) It is Faith working in love, and speaking the Truth in love that is valued by NT writers, not love alone.

2) Paul regarded Truth as more important than evoking feelings of love. He offended his fellow workers in Christ by rebuking them. He also offended the Galations by speaking the truth to them. He evangelized by arguing for the truth.

a) Paul offers careful apologia for the Truth and carefully positions Faith against the Law, while offering some rules about acting in love. But he barely mentions or seems to care about people "feeling" loved by him.

D) God Himself does not always make those He interacts with "feel" loved, yet we know God is always acting out of love.

In other words, there exists a huge gap between acting in love, which the Bible requires (among several other things) and successfully getting others to feel loved when we interact with them.

I'm posting this generically to avoid the impression that I'm criticizing any one person or post. I do welcome responses from anyone, even if your post doesn't make me feel loved.

If you're interested, it seems to me that Faith and Truth are at least as important as love in the Bible and the New Testament makes this clear. Do you agree that, sometimes, acting in love is contrary to making someone feel loved.

Sincerely,
Thereisnospoon

S.B.G.
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 143

Posted 4/3/2003 6:44 AM (GMT -6)

No comment at this time on the topic...but "thereisnospoon" AWESOME NAME!!!!

SBG

S.B.G.
Registered Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 143

Posted 4/3/2003 7:28 AM (GMT -6)

thereisnospoon,
To "act" loving or make someone "feel" loved are the not the same as actually loving someone. To speak the truth in love is the only way to have healthy honest relationships, but what does it really mean?

Does it mean we jump at every chance to point out sin before the Spirit has time to do it? Or could it mean learning to recognize when the person you love is struggling, and to address the reasons for the sinful behavior, not the behavior itself?
Example: I'm crabby and snap at my husband. Instead of condemning me for my unloving behavior, he puts his arms around me and asks "honey what's wrong? You aren't yourself today." (isn't he wonderful?!!)

I submit that timing, relationship, and individual personalites all contribute to someone's receptivity to another's proclamation of "truth".

Additionally, what one person percieves as truth, may not be anothers. For example: I belonged to a church that didn't believe in jewelery---even wedding rings. To this day, if I run into someone from that church they will eye my earrings, and some are so bold as to say something about it. They can show you scripture which they think clearly proves this as sin, and they believe they are only speaking the truth to me for my own sake. But I am not convicted.

I've got to go...more later

SBG

might-be-don
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 830

Posted 4/3/2003 8:04 AM (GMT -6)

Thereisnospoon says:

quote:
I) Premise (implied or explicit from some): The goal of our interactions is make those with whom we interact feel loved.

2 things...

tires ( the round things on cars )
pencils

Now...

I must have missed it, can you give examples where folks have suggested that we do things that are not loving according to your defination.

peace and love, don

---
"No Rules, just Right" Outback Steakhouse

honorman
Registered Member

Date Joined Oct 2002
Total Posts : 1137

Posted 4/3/2003 9:55 AM (GMT -6)

Thereis...excellant points. Don, when a dog craps, it doesn't need to be pointed out. The smell is all around. Look around. Open your eyes. You'll see what Thereis is talking about...
by the way, what do tires and pencils have to do with the discussion. You want someone to explain themselves when you are not doing the same...

might-be-don
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 830

Posted 4/3/2003 12:28 PM (GMT -6)

I'll stick my head out...

tires and pencils have NOTHING to do with the question of love before us.

I can try and discuss a specific instance of unloving behavior advocated by one of the board members, but I don't see ANYONE advocating making folks "feel" loved as the only goal of our interactions.

peace and love, don

---
"No Rules, just Right" Outback Steakhouse

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