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Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > Theological Q&A > (No Subject)
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Triskal
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 198
| Posted 8/28/2001 7:39 PM (GMT -6) |   | I've lately been praying constantly for a good friend of mine who has gone down hill in her relationship with God. What's been hard for me is knowing that she is drifting away from Him, but not being able to tell her without her getting upset and pushing me away. She doesn't want to wake up to the fact that she is falling backwards and needs to fix her attention where it belongs, on God.
I don't really know where i'm going with this... I guess i'm just looking for help because I am out of ideas and i've looked everywhere and asked everyone for help on this matter. My friend has been caught up in the world of popularity and, as described in The Sacred Romance, the "less-wild lovers". She is looking to everyone and everything for happiness, everyone except God.
I don't know what is at the root of this problem. I can only speculate. I'd assume that it's probably because she seems to have given up hope in God. She seems to think that he can't help her find true happiness. I've just about given up trying to reach out to her. She won't accept any help, and she certainly doesn't feel she needs any.
What do I do in this situation? I have been praying so hard for the longest time now. The only thing God seems to be telling me is that I need to be praying for those people in her life that can have more of an impact on her than I can. She has distanced herself from me and isn't speaking to me.
The thing that pains me most is that I know how easy it would be for her to turn away from her "less-wild lovers" and seek God, but I don't know how to share it with her in a way that doesn't make it seem like i'm judging her, or that "I think i'm perfect and she's a loser". That's what she tells me whenever I try and reach out to her. She accuses me of thinking i'm perfect. The truth is, I don't think that. I don't even come across that way when I talk to her.
She is obviously under major spiritual attack, and it doesn't seem to be weakening. Has anyone ever experienced this type of problem before? I find myself totally lost when it comes to reaching out to others with love. I usually tend to be critical of them, and I don't clearly explain what I think they should do. My problem is with being able to bring the words from my heart to my mouth. They seem to get confused on the way there, and I end up being critical of the person instead of loving.
Can someone please give me some advice on this issue? It has been bothering me for so long and I have no where else to turn. I have just about given up hope for ever helping my friend get back on track with God. Any help that any of you can give would be very much appreciated. God bless you all!
In His Grip,
Matt
"In Him we live and move and have our being" - Acts 17:28 | | Back to Top | | |
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Springs
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636
| Posted 8/29/2001 6:38 PM (GMT -6) | | Hey Triskal,
I’ll pray for you and the burden you have been carrying. I know that prayer is effective. Although you may feel discouraged
know that God shares your burden and that your prayers are heard.
You did right in talking to your friend about it. The bible says we are not to judge
the world but that we are to keep each other accountable. Correcting someone with love
means that our motivation comes out of our loving relationship with them. We love
them so we don’t want to see them get hurt by sin, or hurt others.
The bible says if you confront someone and they won’t hear you, that you should take a couple of witnesses with you and go back to the person again. In your case that would be with other people who share your love and concern for her. If the person doesn’t hear that either, then your obligation to speak is done. You may still be called to pray for them, but not revisit the conversation. You mention that God is telling you to pray that other people in relationship with her will be equipped to speak the truth in love to her. I think that is the perfect counsel. When that begins to be set in motion you may find that God will release you from prayer in this area.
I don’t think confronting people you are in relationship with is ever easy. As to the nuts bolts of it I would give these pointers off the top of my head. Always bring the subject up in private, when you have enough time to get through it. Make sure all participants are well rested and fed.  You could start out with, “Could we talk? I’ve been wondering about something I see in you. Now I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate you because I do. I so appreciate your ability to do such and such, and you gift at so and so, and I clearly enjoy thus and such, but this one thing has been bothering me. Just know that I love you
and I don’t want to hurt you okay? This is what I’ve been noticing… (short version)
Then ask them what they think of that, and LISTEN. Take time to communicate well.
If you find you don’t have a meeting of the minds, agree to disagree, and mutually decide to take it to prayer.
Hope this helps,
Springs
"Two can be as bad as one it's the lonliest number since the number one." -Three Dog Night | | Back to Top | | |
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trosie
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 550
| Posted 8/29/2001 7:14 PM (GMT -6) | | Matt:"She is looking to everyone and everything for happiness, everyone except God."
This is so easy to do and an easy lie for Satan to get us to buy into. What I am wondering is what kind of picture your friend has in her mind about the character of God? From what I read, it appears that she is on the defense. Perhaps she feels that she cannot measure up to who she believes God to be? Further, because you are her Christian friend, perhaps she doesn't feel that she measures up to you too? Sometimes I believe what a person needs most is to simply be accepted right where they are at -- even when they appear to be missing the target.
I appreciated the book The Sacred Romance so much because it finally helped me to realize who I was in Christ and that God was not against me(as Job had once thought) I am not sure where your friend is at but if her picture of God is distorted this could have an impact on where she will look to find her source of happiness and fulfillment. The exterior, tangible things are sometimes much easier to get life from than the spiritual.
I agree with you and Springs that prayer is fundamental and accomplishes MUCH. Sometimes when we've done all we can we need to just pray and let God work.
trosie
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churchmouse522
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 163
| Posted 8/29/2001 7:16 PM (GMT -6) | | What she said.
Praying for you brother.
Mouse
"If we agree to search for Truth, we do violence to that search any time we silence a voice." Modes of Thought | | Back to Top | | |
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Triskal
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 198
| Posted 8/30/2001 8:19 PM (GMT -6) | | Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and help. It came at just the right time. Your prayers are very much appreciated through this painful struggle. One of my friends went on a rage of cursing and slandering my friend (the one I spoke of in my first message) because he once again tried to help her and she lashed out at him. He went to bed a few minutes ago and said "F*** HER AND F*** LIFE!". She can really drive someone crazy with the way she talks and acts. Please continue to pray for her and myself. Thanks again!
In His Grip,
Matt
"In Him we live and move and have our being" - Acts 17:28 | | Back to Top | | |
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