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| Open Theism Discussion Board > Public Forums > Theological Q&A > The Sex Blog / Legalism and Loneliness | Forum Quick Jump
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Sahid
Megistered Rember
Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 2013
| Posted 12/16/2007 4:18 AM (GMT -6) |   | Greg's Blog: "In the same way, the “one flesh” relationship God creates between two people only properly functions as a sign of Christ’s relationship to the Church when it is costly. It’s intended only for couples who have made the ultimate sacrifice of pledging their lives to one another. When people enter into “one flesh” relationships without making this sacrifice, they cheapen the “one flesh” reality and thereby violate its meaning as a sign of Christ’s relationship with the Church. This should help us further appreciate why sex is such a big deal to God, and why he strongly prohibits sex outside of marriage in the Bible. He’s preserving the preciousness of the symbol of Christ's relationship with the Church."
John 13: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
It's not that I disagree with what Greg is saying. I more or less agree with the content. My question is, "So what?" Apparently, these recent posts are written in order to encourage us to behave morally. They teach us why one thing is good and another bad. A Baptist preacher explaining why non-marital sex is wrong... How long has that strategy been tried? How's that approach been working so far?
I guess I'm interested in the more general problem of why we make bad decisions. But I think sex as a particular instance is a good place to start. (I want to say that I like nearly everything Greg has to say, and what follows we be more sharp and direct than is probably necessary. Direct is just easier.)
Greg must assume that his words might possibly be effective in encouraging sexual morality. So does he also assume that his audience hasn't heard all this many times before? He acknowledges widespread sexual immorality within the Church. Does he not know that most of these sexually immoral Church members have heard this same "encouragement" many many times before to apparently no positive effect? How can he expect more of the same to help?
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I do know one way that such "encouragement" can sometimes have an effect. Often times the link from the Law on High to sex is made so strongly and so repeatedly that it becomes oppressive. People start feeling guilty about everything from what they wear to the duration of eye contact. Instead of being led by the Spirit, it is often the case that people try to deliberately avoid everything on their index of forbidden activities. Either this all goes well and everyone is happy, or (more often in my experience) people crack under the pressure and end up "twice as much a son of hell".
In my experience, this sort of "encouragement" has the net effect of encouraging sexually immorality. Statistically, it appears to be just another component of the culture that produces this immorality in the first place.
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A good friend of mine talked with me about the impossibility of an atheist being a good person. I said, "Of course it's possible; I've seen some." He said, "No, that's not what I mean. Those people aren't really atheists. They may say they don't believe in God, but their lives demonstrate that they still have faith. They still actively trust. They have not given into despair. Whatever they may claim of themselves, they are not practicing atheists. They are apostate atheists."
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We talk a good game. But all this about commitment and self-giving does little to no good if we don't actually practice it. As a culture we package up responsibilities. We compartmentalize so as to make things manageable. It's my duty to vote every two years, then I'm off the hook for whatever is the government's responsibility. Is someone hungry? Well I've tithed. So they can go to our food pantry. We make these initial payments so that we don't have to deal with problems as they arise. By playing this minimum part we feel justified.
Marriage and family is not just another example. It is very likely THE EXAMPLE. Jesus drew attention to this sticking point. He referred to it as something of a standard for discipleship.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
The hyperbolic hatred of family is akin to the carrying of one's cross. You can call it tribalism, provincialism, or family values. When the tribe, race, state, nuclear or extended family become definitional to personhood, our exclusivity has trumped our loyalty to the Kingdom of God. Vulnerability, faith, and love are marks of the Kingdom. But security, fear, and tight borders are the marks of another kingdom.
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So, back to where I started. Talking about commitment and self-giving, doesn't cut it. Of course Greg's blog is a blog. All he can really do with it is talk. But I think we can all recognize that it's just the sort of thing that might be said in a church on a Sunday morning right before the congregants go out to eat and then all go back to their separate homes. Would your wife say you are committed to her if you only saw her every few days and lived miles away? Would your husband praise your self-giving love? Surely, we can love at a distance. But the distance is never desired. Paul would always follow up his praise for a church's love with an expression of his desire to be together with them.
I know there are practical limits, but most Christians I know don't come close to these limits. I'm just saying our life-styles are so dominated -not by hatred but- by apathy for one another that making the leap from gray individualism to vibrant committed self-giving love is nearly impossible. So many of us are so starved for love that we will jump at the first thing that comes close. And further "encouragement" about what is and is not permissible only brings our breaking point lower and makes our jumps more desperate and foolish. Instead of "True Love Waits," how about "Love One Another"? Not as a mere slogan, but as a lived practice. There is so much talk about taking what is learned on Sunday and applying it during the week. Few may articulate the inherent hypocrisy of such sentiments, but we can all feel it. My roommates, neighbors, and coworkers can talk to me about what I should do during the week. But a pastor... Walk with me during the week, then maybe you'll have something worth saying. "Who is my neighbor?"
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You are driving down a road on the outskirts of town, on your way to a restaurant. You see a man picking fruit off a tree along the side of the road. You know that particular fruit is poisonous. You pull over and tell him that he shouldn't eat that fruit; it will only make him sick. Then, you get back in your car and drive to the restaurant.
So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, warned him about the fruit. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was...
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Certainly, we are an oversexed people. High heels and lipstick are professional attire. Sexuality bombards us from more angles than we can deal with. But this problem is small compared to the problem of loneliness and fear of loneliness. Our sexual perversions are the effect of societal perversions, not the cause. Sexual legalism (both legislated and preached) has failed miserably. With each conservative push there is a liberal backlash. You'd think we'd learn. I think it's time to give hospitality and community a chance. Sell your precious house and go live down the street from other members of your church. Take turns eating at each other's house. Your kids can play together and help each other with their homework. Carpool so that you can talk to someone other than your radio on the way to work. We are not designed to be so separate.
Unless, you are offering a meaningful daily relationship to the person to whom you are speaking, don't bother warning him or her not to get involved in other immoral relationships. Don't tell people to wait for such-and-such type of person. Be that person.
Watch me fly. Freedom like wings and I will use them. Freedom like wings and I will spread them wide. - Stavesacre | | Back to Top | | |
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PotOnWheel
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890
| Posted 12/16/2007 6:59 PM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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