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Electra
Registered Member

Date Joined Feb 2002
Total Posts : 611

Posted 7/21/2002 5:42 AM (GMT -6)

It has been suggested that the most appropriate context for confrontation is within small groups of people who intimately know each other. I agree with this in general, but I have several questions. Given the fact that most people tend to gather together with people who they have a lot in common with them—e.g. race, socio-economic status, neighborhood, etc.:

1. Wouldn’t members of a small group be more likely to have the same “logs” in their eyes? In my small group experience, we tend to work on our “specks” together, while the logs go unnoticed by all.

2. Isn’t this contrary to Jesus’ example? He rebuked both strangers and disciples.

3. I recently attended a seminar which challenged us to incorporate an anti-racist perspective into every aspect of our life, since people in this country are socialized into a racist culture. I was (and continue to be) blind to the ways I have been part of the problem and not the solution until I started taking the (sometimes gentle, sometimes violent) confrontations of strangers seriously.

4. Don’t we have a responsibility to address the greater public, rather than limiting our scope to a private sphere of people who are just like us? Does this principle lend itself to parochialism?

5. Probably the best respected Christian fiction author, Flannery O’Connor writes about God-ordained confrontations that are the opposite of this—they involve strangers and violence. Because our hearts are hard, this is what grace looks like when it shows up—at least the way she portrays it in her short stories. Maybe some of you can relate? I can.

Conclusion:

I agree that the context of small groups is an important context for supporting and challenging one another as we grow. I just don’t want to limit support and challenge to that context—not that anyone is suggesting this. I just think it is a natural tendency to blow off criticism from strangers or from people who are angry and aggressive, and I want to challenge rather than reinforce that tendency. I think we should strive to have ears to hear and eyes to see in every context we find ourselves in.

Also, I think it’s interesting that Jesus’ own “small group”—the twelve disciples—represented a very diverse cross-section of ancient Palestine. I think we should strive for as much diversity as possible in our small groups. Not just for the sake of people who don’t share our privileged status (paternalism), but also for our own sake—so we can heal from the logs in our own eyes.

God “reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Cor. 5:18).

Electra

~·• kyrie eleison ·~•~· christe eleison ·~•~· kyrie eleison •·~

PotOnWheel
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890

Posted 7/21/2002 8:31 AM (GMT -6)

The perfect small group partner, then, would be Jesus Christ. (Though the last group to "try" him crucified him.) Pending that, or in practice, confession is an advisable "group" activity and individual activity. Brokenness being helpful in many respects concerning many things.

For entertainment and edification, try this article:

home.ctcnet.net/pipermail/frederica-l/2002-March/000045.html

quote:
"On Sunday night I am going to have to apologize to someone. I am going to have to apologize to about a hundred people, in fact--one at a time, face to face. I'm looking forward to it.

. . .

As my husband says, "When we do this, we do something the devil hates." Teenaged brothers and sisters forgive each other. Small children solemnly tell their mothers, "I forgive you." Folks who have been arguing about the church budget for months embrace with tears.

. . ."

Edited by - (o) on 07/23/2002 2:50:03 PM

Starkman
Registered Member

Date Joined Oct 2001
Total Posts : 1747

Posted 7/23/2002 7:47 AM (GMT -6)

Electra,

I so greatly need a small group with which I can participate in deep and heavy theological Bible study, as well as prayer and ministry for each other. But this hasn't happened yet for me. Still looking.

Here at this site, however, I have found something you have touched upon. I found the thinking capacity and the challenge by others who do not necessarily think as I do or agree with me on many things. And . . . there is something of the stranger element introduced; though I post and read messages, I do not really know these folks.

Taking your post to the extreme, however, I'm inclined to agree with you. University campuses experience something of what you've mentioned; they are all very much strangers in their debates, and confrontation gets heavy. Otherwise, to engage people here, there, at the store, in the elevator, at work, etc., is to open the door both to learn and to evangelize. It speaks heavily about the stuff of life regarding relationships. It doesn't, however, offer the close intimacy of the coin's other side: fellowship with those we seek to think alike. However, two sides make the coin what it is.

For diversity,

Starkman

geej
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93

Posted 8/2/2002 7:20 AM (GMT -6)

In my small group experience, I've found both groups with which I've been involved to be very diverse and we all had different "logs." One had a pastor and a missionary in it and was great for getting deeply involved in the word and was good for theological debate/discussion and the people were quite nice. However, it was pretty superficial and we did not confront each other with our logs.
The other group includes single people and we are just getting to know eachother; it seems to be a diverse group and I think we will eventually get to a level where we can lovingly confront each other and develop strong relationshps; it is a work in progress.
GJ

BBBCanada
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763

Posted 8/2/2002 8:38 AM (GMT -6)

Just wondering. What happens when our small groups include both sheep and goats?

Brandon
"Sharing a prison cell unites you much more powerfully than sharing a conference table."--Ecumenical Jihad: Ecumenism and the Culture War

geej
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 93

Posted 8/2/2002 10:38 AM (GMT -6)

Hopefully your leader is a heck of a sheep dog and will herd sheep and goats together.

Geej

dust
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 16

Posted 8/11/2002 7:43 PM (GMT -6)

I echo Electra's sentiment concerning small groups. The issues she has pointed out are very legitimate. How can one grow from interaction with someone else if that person is nearly a replica of myself?
Additionally small groups in large churches also typically get diced up into same age categories and this is perceived as desirable by most. A high level of intimacy is also less likely when the group has minimal contact. i.e. My group meets every Tuesday from 6 to 8, which means that 1.19% of my week is spent with "the community of believers." The rest of the week is spent away from them. How is it appropriate to confront and how is it inviting to be vulnerable when this is the case?
Anyone have any thoughts on how to overcome these obstacles?

Psalm 103:13,14
Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

barneebus
Registered Member

Date Joined Sep 2002
Total Posts : 14

Posted 9/2/2002 10:21 AM (GMT -6)

My experience is that small groups vary greatly between churches, and that, for the most part, they are a reflection of the leadership of the church. In one church I attended, the small groups got into great theological discussions, but the relationships were superficial,and no one seemed willing to expose their weaknesses or failings. And such was the church leadership. In a different church I attended, the small groups were very open, honest, and supportive... and we dealt with and prayed for a wide range of personal problems. And in that church, the leadership was unusually humble and transparent.

So I have concluded that over time, the sheep come to look like their shepherds.

Barneebus

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