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Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/3/2002 5:10 AM (GMT -6)

I have no idea where to place this thread. Let's try here...

I don't cry. I've been married 19 years and have cried twice in that time. My wife cries at the drop of a hat. My kids too. Dog got run over yesterday in front of our house. Everybody cried. Not me.

Even with serious stuff like news of 9/11, Bonnie's death in Sidon recently, and stuff like that, I can't cry. I sometimes wait for the emotions to well up and the tears to gush out, but nothing happens. I simply don't cry.

Something wrong with me?

Springs, you there? Come on, psychoanalyze me.

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

Edited by - TGB on 12/03/2002 3:39:16 PM

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 12/3/2002 6:13 AM (GMT -6)

Oh man, finally something right up my alley! Unfortunately, the last time I tried that, my post got deleted! Did you see my elegant response to Electra's call for help with procrastination? No? That's cause they yanked it! Cretins! Not to mention any names, cough (doc) cough. Fears of litigation or some such. Ironic if you ask me.

The NLP chat rooms give advice to everyone and their brother. Aren't disclaimer's wonderful things? But hey don't get me started...I might tell you how I really feel!

If you're in town pre-Christmas we can get together for a consult. I can even instruct you in the subliminal implication of having dreams about elephants coming out of forests.

Springs

"It is a dangerous business to arrive in eternity with possibilities which one himself has prevented from becoming actualities. Possibility is a hint from God." -Soren Kiekegaard

BJS
Registered Member

Date Joined Dec 2001
Total Posts : 587

Posted 12/3/2002 6:16 AM (GMT -6)

quote:
Oh man, finally something right up my alley! Unfortunately, the last time I tried that, my post got deleted! Did you see my elegant response to Electra's call for help with procrastination? No? That's cause they yanked it! Cretins! Not to mention any names, cough (doc) cough. Fears of litigation or some such. Ironic if you ask me.

Really? Is that true? Or am I missing an inside joke?

Brett

"Siste viator et memento mori."

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 12/3/2002 7:32 AM (GMT -6)

Fasheezy dude!!!

I'll email ya a copy.

-S

PS. My rant made me think of Meph. He does it so well. In tribute to him add a 'friggin' to the above where applicable.

"It is a dangerous business to arrive in eternity with possibilities which one himself has prevented from becoming actualities. Possibility is a hint from God." -Soren Kiekegaard

shell
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280

Posted 12/3/2002 8:07 AM (GMT -6)

Hi Springs!

Hey I'd love to hear your stuff. I remember that whole deal and in the end I thought both Greg and Adiaphora said that a poster could initiate such a discussion, no problem, but the web site itself could not sponsor a topic area specifically related to phsychoanalytical stuff. Adiaphora?

Blessings,
Shell

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 12/3/2002 8:37 AM (GMT -6)

Hey Shell,
Thanks! I would try to find what's left of the thread and check out the exact wording, but I gotta run. I'm going to the convention for the Minnesota Asphalt Pavers Association. It's more fun than it sounds!

I'll check back in Thurday.
Springs

"It is a dangerous business to arrive in eternity with possibilities which one himself has prevented from becoming actualities. Possibility is a hint from God." -Soren Kiekegaard

might-be-don
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 830

Posted 12/3/2002 9:09 AM (GMT -6)

Tom,

Does that include not even a small tear welling up in your eye during a particularly moving moment? Or, only great big sobs of uncontrollable emotion?

peace and love, don

<hr>
"No Rules, just Right" Outback Steakhouse

adiaphora
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 123

Posted 12/3/2002 9:57 AM (GMT -6)

Here is the thread in question: What happened to the TNT category???. Cheers, adiaphora

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/3/2002 10:38 AM (GMT -6)

quote:
Tom,

Does that include not even a small tear welling up in your eye during a particularly moving moment? Or, only great big sobs of uncontrollable emotion?

peace and love, don

My eyes occassionally glaze over. That's about it.

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

BJS
Registered Member

Date Joined Dec 2001
Total Posts : 587

Posted 12/3/2002 10:51 AM (GMT -6)

In my humble opinion, as long as a lack of tears doesn't indicate a lack of compassion or empathy, I wouldn't worry. Some people's emotion just isn't accompanied by water in the eyes.

Brett

"Siste viator et memento mori."

PotOnWheel
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 9890

Posted 12/3/2002 11:43 AM (GMT -6)

shell
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280

Posted 12/3/2002 1:25 PM (GMT -6)

Hey Springs after reading the thread it sounds like you have the go ahead so give us your best stuff!!

Blessings,
Shell

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/3/2002 7:17 PM (GMT -6)

Oh yeah, my Dad? Same thing. He's 79, I'm 40-something with kids of my own, and I've NEVER seen or heard my Dad cry.

Am I turning into him? Arrghhhhhh!

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

Edited by - TGB on 12/04/2002 12:18:50 AM

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/3/2002 7:25 PM (GMT -6)

What a dumb dude I am. Should I not be asking this question at all since the TNT category was removed? Is that the point? Ooops. I'm encouraging psychoanalysis.

Sorry. Forget my inquiry folks.

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

shell
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280

Posted 12/3/2002 8:22 PM (GMT -6)

Hi Tom...no the point is you as a poster can inquire...Christus Victor just cannot set aside a topic area related to psychoanalysis because of liablilty issues, but if posters wish to engage in discussion about it on their own in a thread on the site that seems to be fine!

Shell

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/3/2002 9:33 PM (GMT -6)

quote:
Hi Tom...no the point is you as a poster can inquire...Christus Victor just cannot set aside a topic area related to psychoanalysis because of liablilty issues, but if posters wish to engage in discussion about it on their own in a thread on the site that seems to be fine!

Shell

Thanks Shell! For a minute there I almost cried!

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

might-be-don
Registered Member

Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 830

Posted 12/4/2002 3:32 AM (GMT -6)

quote:
My eyes occassionally glaze over. That's about it.

Tom,

I suppose that we have to conclude that you are light years ahead of the rest of us.

Didn't God say he would wipe away every tear, you've got that one covered already.

Also, we are encouraged to be content whatever state we find ourself in. Tears, of the type you speak of, usually indicate a discontent with the current circumstances. You got that one covered also.

Press on.

peace and love, don

<hr height=1 noshade>
"No Rules, just Right" Outback Steakhouse

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/4/2002 4:37 AM (GMT -6)

Don-

You should open your own practice! My weaknesses and frailties turn out to be the already finished product! Cool!

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

shell
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280

Posted 12/4/2002 7:16 PM (GMT -6)

Actually Tom...from someone who cries all the time (at the drop of a hat...happy...sad...frustrated...you name the emotion and it ends in tears for me...)why do you want to cry?

I'm just jokin with you...but I'd really like to dry up a little myself

Where did Springs go anyways?

Blessings,
Shell

Edited by - shell on 12/05/2002 12:19:07 AM

GregBoyd
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 1818

Posted 12/4/2002 8:37 PM (GMT -6)

Bro Tom,

I don't know what the deal is with you. But I'll tell you a Reader's Digest version of my own story. And, if the shoe fits....

Between the ages of 6 and 20 or so, I only cried twice -- and only once hard (when I thought my Dad my kill my mom and thus go to prison). I went through some serious &^%$#!!! that was worth crying about but NOTHING got under my skin. E.g. My family blew apart when I was 12, and I didn't bat an eye. I have trouble believing it now, but I even checked it out at my 20 year class reunion. I talked at length with a girl I was dating at the time and was very close to. , I asked her... "Did I ever even mention what was going on in my home when we were going out," and she responded "not a word." I was "Mr. Above it all."

Around 20 I began to learn the reason. My step mother was unloving and quite abusive. I recall making a covenant with myself at the age of 6, standing in my backyard by a creek, Lansing Michigan... I recall as vividly as if it was yesterday . I basically concluded "Mom doesn't like me, so I don't like her. She's never going to hurt me again." AND SHE DIDN'T. No matter what she did, I NEVER cried. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. (Ever see Good Will Hunting?... similar deal-- that movie SLAUGHTERED ME).

What I didn't know at the time was that the price you pay for not feeling pain is that you don't feel much of ANYTHING. Its very difficult, if not impossible, to severe PART of your emotional feeling system.

When I, out of my relationship with Christ, got the love I should have gotten from my mom, and thus was empowered to release her from her debt to me (viz. forgive her), my emotional nervous system began to "reattach."

Now I feel like I'm making up for lost time. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel things -- both good and bad -- VERY deeply. I feel so totally alive. Theres so much pain... and joy... in the world. I laugh and cry ALOT.

The covenant was a good strategy for a six year old trying to survive. But there came a point when it was no longer working for me. The six year old needed to hear the good news.

I don't know if ANY of this has anything to do with you. It may be that you DO experience life deeply but just don't express it in tear drops. Take my story for what its worth. Explore yourself. It MAY be that theres apart of you that needs and wants healing.

Thanks for asking,

Greg

"In Christ...the ONLY THING that matters is faith energized by love." Galatians 5:6

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/5/2002 2:24 AM (GMT -6)

Thanks everybody! It all helps.

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 12/5/2002 5:57 PM (GMT -6)

Hi all,
I'm back from convention. I see I was confused about the reason for the deletion. Who was that on Saturday Night live...Rosanna, Rosanna Dana? That said..."Never mind."

I hope you all know I was just having fun...even if I didn't know what I was talking about. Thanks for helping to straighten things out Shell.

Let me start over...
Tom,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be so hard. I hope your kids are alright.

There are many reasons for not crying. Sometimes we have to be strong so others can cry. Or we're content like Don said, or determined like Doc said, or we don't spend enough time in the kitchen alla Al-fred.

There have been times in my life where I could not cry. I appreciate your openness. Do you do vulnerable often?

all the best,
Springs

"It is a dangerous business to arrive in eternity with possibilities which one himself has prevented from becoming actualities. Possibility is a hint from God." -Soren Kiekegaard

Tom
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353

Posted 12/8/2002 6:33 PM (GMT -6)

Springs: I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be so hard.

Tom: Did lose a pet? Don't remember mentioning that.

Springs: Do you do vulnerable often?

Tom: What's "doing" vulnerable?

Tom

"It might take a year or two to begin to understand Calvinism. But you won't do so by reading books. It's a transformation of outlook." Al & Fred

Springs
Registered Member

Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 636

Posted 12/9/2002 5:23 AM (GMT -6)

Tom: Did I lose a pet? Don't remember mentioning that.

Holy piteous presupposition Batman!!!
Holy inept inference Robin!!
Holy assumption...oops sorry Fred,I got carried away.
Is this my thread to shine or what?

Springs: Do you do vulnerable often?
Tom: What's "doing" vulnerable?

It's like doing lunch but instead of filling your guts you spill em. Yeah, I know that was weak. But hey it's par for me on this thread.

-S

"It is a dangerous business to arrive in eternity with possibilities which one himself has prevented from becoming actualities. Possibility is a hint from God." -Soren Kiekegaard

shell
Registered Member

Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280

Posted 12/9/2002 6:13 AM (GMT -6)

Springs...you are so funny

I was thinking God must have revealed something to you about a pet...since the rest of us here knew nothing about it...but I guess there's a problem when Tom knows nothing about it either

Tom, NLP and TNT refer to emotions as something we "do". People "do" the same emotions very differently and it's key to help people understand how they operate in certain emotions to be able to bring about desired change and to realize we can have control over and can change how we "do" our feelings. I've only taken the first year of TNT though, and Springs is an expert!

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