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Tigress
Registered Member
Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1252
| Posted 10/16/2003 6:28 AM (GMT -6) |   | I have a question about gossip. I and a couple of my co-workers experienced a little friction with each other this week, and I kept feeling upset about it for 3 days until I gossipped about it to another co-worker. Now the burden is lifted, I don't care at all about what happened, and haven't been worrying about it anymore.
Yet, I know it's wrong to say bad things about people behind their back. It's just that doing so was actually therapeutic for me - in this instance, at least. I mean, when I prayed to God about it I didn't feel better at all, and only when I comiserated with another person about these people I felt better. She was able to complain to me about the things and people that ticked her off, too. Knowing that she struggles with certain things, and in some cases the same people, helps me to not feel so alone and it lessens the pain. And as I said, it doesn't bother me anymore. I wouldn't have known that she agreed with me about how the other person acted towards me unless I had gossipped about him to her. Knowing that she thinks I'm right and he's wrong, really helps.
What do you all think?
Tigress 
"Name a shrub after me. Preferably one that's prickly and difficult to eradicate."
-Captain Jack Aubrey
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" | | Back to Top | | |
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DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 10/16/2003 8:46 AM (GMT -6) | | No, my cup overfloweth since I am on the verge of giving a tough midterm to my students.
They only had 8 pages of potential questions to study from, but they will get to form cheat sheets of two pages, both-sides, hand-written.
We will see if they've learned anything so far...
dlw
I've always liked cats...well, it does depend on how they're served.
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DLW
Registered Member
Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 2457
| Posted 10/16/2003 12:20 PM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by Tigress
Okay, now that DLW has sufficiently vented his frustrations does anyone else wanna take a stab at this topic?
Anyone?.....
Anyone?.....
Bueller?.....
They're too busy gossiping about your inanities...
dlw | | Back to Top | | |
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GregBoyd
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 1818
| Posted 10/16/2003 8:55 PM (GMT -6) | | Hi Tigress: Great question. And GREAT ISSUE. Sins of the mouth are much more frequently mentioned, much more sternly mentioned, and more clearly mentioned, than many of the "favorite sins" Christians get ruffled over (and that heat up discussion boards  ). If you'd titled your thread HOMOSEXUALITY, it wouldn't just be DLW responding to you, guaranteed!
Here's how I process the issue.
My most fundamental task in life, given by God, is to love all people at all times no ifs, ands or buts.
Love is ascribing to people the worth God ascribes to people (CALVARY!).
If my words or deeds detract worth from another (slander, lower another's perception of them, etc.) I am not ascribing worth.
When conflicts arise, we must seek resolution. The question is, how do we do this in a way that ascribes worth to them?
Talking to others does so IF a) my motive is honestly to resolve the conflict and b) THEY can be part of the resolution. Otherwise, I conclude that I must keep silent.
Part of a person being part of a "resolution" is if they can help me get clear on my thinking, and my motives. "Processing" with a close confidant, when done with this motive, is helpful.
The motto: If a person isn't part of the solution, don't make them part of the problem.
Hope this helps.
Doc
"The responsibility is with the chooser -- God is blameless." Plato, Republic, 10. | | Back to Top | | |
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Tigress
Registered Member
Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1252
| Posted 10/17/2003 5:29 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by GregBoyd
Hi Tigress: Great question. And GREAT ISSUE. Sins of the mouth are much more frequently mentioned, much more sternly mentioned, and more clearly mentioned, than many of the "favorite sins" Christians get ruffled over (and that heat up discussion boards ). If you'd titled your thread HOMOSEXUALITY, it wouldn't just be DLW responding to you, guaranteed!
Here's how I process the issue.
My most fundamental task in life, given by God, is to love all people at all times no ifs, ands or buts.
Love is ascribing to people the worth God ascribes to people (CALVARY!).
If my words or deeds detract worth from another (slander, lower another's perception of them, etc.) I am not ascribing worth.
When conflicts arise, we must seek resolution. The question is, how do we do this in a way that ascribes worth to them?
Talking to others does so IF a) my motive is honestly to resolve the conflict and b) THEY can be part of the resolution. Otherwise, I conclude that I must keep silent.
Part of a person being part of a "resolution" is if they can help me get clear on my thinking, and my motives. "Processing" with a close confidant, when done with this motive, is helpful.
The motto: If a person isn't part of the solution, don't make them part of the problem.
Hope this helps.
Doc
Yeah, but this doesn't answer my question about the whole psychological aspect of it. I mean, I was stewing over the incident for 3 days, until I gossipped about it to my coworker, and then it didn't bother me anymore. Gossipping essentially "healed" my bad feelings and troubled thoughts. If I hadn't done that, I would probably still be suffering with those things right now. It doesn't seem fair that I'm not allowed to do whatever it takes to stop feeling bad.
Tigress
"Name a shrub after me. Preferably one that's prickly and difficult to eradicate."
-Captain Jack Aubrey
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" | | Back to Top | | |
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