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bruisedheart
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2002
Total Posts : 8
| Posted 7/17/2002 9:22 AM (GMT -6) |   | I just thought that I might throw this story out there so that I might get some feedback from you good people.
Not too long ago, I was engaged to be married to a man, whom describes himself as a God fearing man. I believed him to be so, and up until this point in our relationship I hadn't noticed anything otherwise.
For his own reasons, (still unknown to me) he figured that marriage was not the best thing for us. For a while there was a good chance that it would happen in the future, but just that there were some things that he thought we needed to work on. Of course I was heartbroken at the dissolving of what I thought was an ideal relationship with another human being. But even with the aching heart, the love that I felt for him remained. For some time I tried to gain some understanding from him as to why his feelings for me suddenly changed, and with no warning. He could offer no explanation other than when he said to me; "You are of the devil."
You can imagine the horror of such a comment! I won't try and tell anyone that I am as Christlike as they come, because we are all human-but my personal relationship with the Lord is what has helped me through many a troubling times. What is getting to me with this situation, is how someone with a degree in youth ministry, (not that a degree means a whole lot) a person who broadcasts his spiritual life to everyone, a person who claims that his given name means "like God"; when do those descriptions make it okay to say such a horrible thing to a person whom you've said to have loved? And how Christlike is that? The God that I know is Love-and there is no love at all there.
And so, perhaps I have answered my own question there. But it has gone further than this now. He has taken me to court- and living up to his threat to "ruin my life".
Sure I feel attacked! I feel attacked from something horrible thats come out of nowhere. And I ask you fellow believers- to pray for this man- because he truly believes that he is speaking of God's will. He has told me outright that "God is showing me (him) the truth!" That simply doesn't sound like the God I know.
Feedback welcome to this letter of discombobulation.
thank you.
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n/a
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 218
| Posted 7/17/2002 11:31 AM (GMT -6) | | WELCOME TO THE BOARD bruisedheart!!!!
I will sincerely pray for you and that dude. I really don't know what advice to give, so I believe prayer will suffice.
Blessings,
faithful
"To conceptualize God differently from another model is not to reduce God to one's own idea of what God should be."
~Major J. Jones | | Back to Top | | |
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shell
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280
| Posted 7/17/2002 6:31 PM (GMT -6) | | Hi bruisedheart...welcome to the board. I have some thoughts on what you posted here but I am too swamped with life right now to even gather them to give a response. I am sorry that you have been hurt so badly.
blessings to you,
love Shell
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writerdad
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 448
| Posted 7/17/2002 8:29 PM (GMT -6) | | Remember: he did this to you. It isn't about how good or bad you are, but how he chose to treat you. If he chose to treat you that way, it is his responsibility before God. Don't beat yourself up over that. Harold
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markus
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2002
Total Posts : 100
| Posted 7/17/2002 8:33 PM (GMT -6) | | Dear Bruisedheart,
I have tried very hard to avoid answering to your story, as I never feel qualified to comment on other people's situations when my own sin is so great. My own opinion can only ever be the discoloured, distorted, vision of a imperfect human - so please read this in this light and ignore if it seems ill-fitting.
Struggle as I may to remain silent, there is one passage of the bible that I feel I would like to offer you. Your story disturbed me very much, I have never considered God to be anything other than loving and patient and positive in His works through His people. What you described (if that be the whole story) does not fit my own personal picture of our God at work in people, He does not set out to ruin people's lives, but to change them and guide them - and only then once they have themselves shown a desire to let Him into their life.
Your story better describes someone whose faith has become tainted with self-importance. Faith is a bit like an inflatable doll that lies empty in one's heart until such time as it is inflated with the love of Christ to such an extent that it presses against the extremities of our souls, squeezing out all our own ego and pride. But it does not stay inflated by itself. If it isn't constantly refreshed, the Spirit slowly seeps away and our own ego creeps its way back in unnoticed and corrodes and corrupts its way back into our heart and staining everything it finds with its own unique poison. Faith and self-importance is a volatile combination that can often lead to delusion.
I am not saying that is what you are necessarily seeing in your partner, but it is possible. For example, you stated that your partner is "a person who claims that his given name means "like God";". Are you saying he believes from this that he is more like God than human? Who gave him his name, God or his parents? Does he feel that his parents were inspired by God in giving this name - or by what authority did they assume such a quality in him?
Although Jesus taught us not to judge others, He did warn us to be wary of false teachings. We can assess what we are being told without casting judgement. In this respect, I would like to share with you one guide that I find useful in assessing people who claim to be doing God's work. The following passage describes to me the character of a true Christian, and we are able to recognise these traits in their words and deeds if they are truly working God's will - and if someone's actions do not match this character template then maybe there are grounds to be cautious:
"Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Pe 1:2-8
But prayer is your best tool, and you have mine too - and please forgive my unqualified intrusion into your difficult situation.
Markus
Edited by - markus on 07/18/2002 01:42:15 AM | | Back to Top | | |
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shell
Registered Member
Date Joined Mar 2002
Total Posts : 280
| Posted 7/18/2002 9:10 AM (GMT -6) | | Markus: Faith and self-importance is a volatile combination that can often lead to delusion.
Shell: I really appreciate your posts,insights, and humility Markus.
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bruisedheart
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2002
Total Posts : 8
| Posted 7/18/2002 11:54 AM (GMT -6) | | Markus:
I want to thank you for your insight.
We ask ourselves in times of national tragedy- "Where is God?" We ask ourselves when a loved one dies, "How does God let this happen?"
Markus: you wrote that faith and self-importance is a volatile combination which can lead to delusion. Perhaps you have hit in on the nose.
And so what do we do with people who are delusional?
-- Medical professional that I am, we'd say- give them drugs or lock them up.
-- Spiritual person that I am, thoughts are to show them the Light.
I can't do either in this situation, and I feel stifiled. I feel that I've been personally attacked, or at least my character has, and there is nothing that I can do about it….
You've all said that prayer is the most powerful tool. And I know that I am an impatient person for the most part, and that I've been working on that weakness of mine for years. But I've been praying my heart out for months over this. And not only has my heart been broken, but my spirit….
I am sorry. I don't want to be like this. There is a chance that this is more my emotions speaking that my reason….
Greg talked of the devil doing these horrible things in the lives of believers. I am no exception.
Thank you for listening
-Carrie
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adiaphora
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 123
| Posted 7/18/2002 7:56 PM (GMT -6) | | Welcome to our discussion, bruisedheart. I’m sorry to hear about all the pain you have suffered over the circumstances of your broken engagement.
I have edited your most recent post because it contained detailed personal and legal information about your ex-fiance. For your own protection, it’s best to save the details regarding the circumstances of your relationship for people who know you and your ex-fiance personally.
Traumatic situations like broken relationships raise important questions about God. This board is a place to discuss these important questions. But it is not a place to discuss the details of the trauma that raises the questions, especially when doing so involves revealing personal information about other people by name. If you (or anyone else in this discussion) have any questions about this, please feel free to e-mail me.
Once again, sorry to hear about your bruised heart. I pray that God will work in the midst of your grief to bring you healing and hope.
adiaphora
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markus
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2002
Total Posts : 100
| Posted 7/18/2002 8:26 PM (GMT -6) | | Dearest Carrie,
My heart reaches out to you for the anguish that your poor soul is going through right now. But if you can possibly do it, I think you might be able to help yourself by breaking down the mixture of emotions that are naturally and inevitably flowing through you like electic right now. In these situations we still feel our love towards others. But that love then becomes heavily overlaid with a boiling mass of frustration, hurt and anger - and I suspect these last emotions are the ones that are hurting you most.
In times of trial we often find ourselves caught in a desperate turmoil of wanting to hit back and hurt - whilst at the same time knowing in our heart that that is the wrong thing to do. We are angry and hurt at what has been going on, and we are angry at ourselves for wanting to strike back - and also for not being able to!
I feel it is important in all our dealings with others to always try and separate the people concerned from the actions and events that are taking place, the sinning if you like. Usually we find that the badness only lies in the things we do to each other, and that behind these deeds still lies a good person. I think it is always important with all relationships to try to see and love the people themselves, but to also be able to identify, separate and dispise the sinful things that we do.
Then we need to look closer at our frustration, anger, and hurt. We can ask ourselves, who is actually being hurt by these emotions? whose life is being degraded and torn apart? who cannot even concentrate on prayer because their mind keeps relentlessly returning back to the problem? Whose mind is constantly playing out imaginary confrontations and imagining what they are going to say and do to get even? The answer is usually only ourselves – these emotions only eat away at our own insides, and that is why we need to overcome them in order to start our road to recovery.
...and that is why we need to turn to our best friend. He is always there. Remember that Jesus suffered far more than any of us ever will in our lives. Not just upon the cross, but throughout His ministry. He was constantly ridiculed, hounded, persecuted, despised, and rejected - he knows what we are going through. The Bible contains many references to the suffering that we will inevitably encounter during our brief spell here, but it also urges us to bear up and endure -and confirms the reward that is already waiting for us.
Whenever we read Jesus' words in his sermon on the mount in Matt 5 we can take comfort from His guarantee that we are not facing suffering alone, and that our courage in enduring is seen, registered and admired by Him. Once we have Jesus' words in our mind we can change our approach towards all our adversities.
It is far better to show our love towards all others, regardless of any animosity, with a big smile a cheerful "hello" .
We should always aim to forgive entirely everything that we feel may be said or done towards us. We can safely lean on the fact that God sees everything. We can always ask ourselves, is not God's justice far better than our own ever could be? We can confidently leave all judgement in God's hands, and get on with our lives in peace. We can constantly pray for those we feel are our enemies and ask for inspiration for them that they can resolve these situations from their own viewpoint.
We can follow the Bible's wisdom when it says to meet bad with good. We can find a deep personal pride in making the decision to lean on Christ and be non-responsive, patient and understanding towards our aggressors. We can thank God and feel good inside ourselves every time He gives us the strength just to love and forgive - for it is no lie that in meekness lies strength.
Jesus came in meekness and humility - but was He a wimp? There is no greater strength than to be able to stand one's ground in peace and patience. Our victory is in our continued selfless love and forgiveness, and our reward is from heaven itself.
I wish you strength and courage, Carrie, in your battle on behalf of love and forgiveness - remember you DO have a best friend 
"Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
(Taken from Rom 12:14-21)
Markus
Edited by - markus on 07/19/2002 01:56:51 AM | | Back to Top | | |
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bruisedheart
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2002
Total Posts : 8
| Posted 7/24/2002 5:51 PM (GMT -6) | | Perhaps this is a prayer request:
Tomorrow afternoon I will be spending my time in a courtroom to defend my name against false accusations by my ex-fiance. I ask for your prayer in that the Truth will prevail.
Thank you.
Carrie
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markus
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2002
Total Posts : 100
| Posted 7/24/2002 9:30 PM (GMT -6) | | May the Truth always prevail and God's will be done.
Markus
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bruisedheart
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2002
Total Posts : 8
| Posted 7/25/2002 3:35 PM (GMT -6) | | quote:
May the Truth always prevail and God's will be done.
Markus
Markus: Thank you. And yes- the Truth always does prevail. The court situation took a lot longer than I thought it would, but of course, the Truth came out on top. And when it was over I thought to myself a piece of scripture that has been with me this entire time.
Psalms 41.
How beautiful is it that Goodness can always be with us!
Carrie
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pouringagape
Registered Member
Date Joined May 2002
Total Posts : 28
| Posted 7/26/2002 2:13 AM (GMT -6) | | Carrie,
Praise God! I'm so happy to hear things worked out that way.
Trusting in Truth is always the wisest thing in court situations.!
When you do that, (even if the judge didn't see it) God's got
your back! "If God be FOR us--who can stand against us" :)
You are in my prayers,
pouring
John 17:11 And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me , so that they may be one, as we are one. | | Back to Top | | |
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