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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 2/27/2004 8:12 AM (GMT -6) |   | So here's a quandry I need help mulling over:
I've been a christian for many years, varying from fiery fanatic to mellow but committed, generally living a pretty good life (with a few exceptions). Well, i've recently come up against a particular sin that I am having a hard time dealing with.
I know intellectually that I shouldn't do it. I know that it displeases God and that it is dishonorable to me and that it is also a sin against someone I love dearly.
However, I don't feel a bit guilty about it. At all. Normally I would feel guilty and convicted not to do something like this, normally it would offend my personal sense of honor, normally it would haunt my conscience. However, for some inexplicable reason, I have absolutely no guilt.
However, I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I also feel guilty because of how my loved one would feel about it. I want to be a man of honor and a man of God. I want to do the right things and be the right kind of man. I want to treat myself and God and my loved one with respect. However, I'm finding it difficult to desire not to keep sinning in this area. It's not even just that I like it, it's that it doesn't feel wrong or bad or sinful at all. I've tried to feel bad about it and I just can't.
Has anyone had this experience? What does it mean? Am I cold and dead inside? Is this the first symptom that I'm turning into a vampire? I just can't fathom my inability to feel anything about something that I shoud feel horrible about. | | Back to Top | | |
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Truth Aficionado
Registered Member
Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 1544
| Posted 2/27/2004 8:46 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by PhilTheThrill
So here's a quandry I need help mulling over:
I've been a christian for many years, varying from fiery fanatic to mellow but committed, generally living a pretty good life (with a few exceptions). Well, i've recently come up against a particular sin that I am having a hard time dealing with.
I know intellectually that I shouldn't do it. I know that it displeases God and that it is dishonorable to me and that it is also a sin against someone I love dearly. However, I don't feel a bit guilty about it. At all. Normally I would feel guilty and convicted not to do something like this, normally it would offend my personal sense of honor, normally it would haunt my conscience. However, for some inexplicable reason, I have absolutely no guilt. However, I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I also feel guilty because of how my loved one would feel about it. I want to be a man of honor and a man of God. I want to do the right things and be the right kind of man. I want to treat myself and God and my loved one with respect. However, I'm finding it difficult to desire not to keep sinning in this area. It's not even just that I like it, it's that it doesn't feel wrong or bad or sinful at all. I've tried to feel bad about it and I just can't.Has anyone had this experience? What does it mean? Am I cold and dead inside? Is this the first symptom that I'm turning into a vampire? I just can't fathom my inability to feel anything about something that I shoud feel horrible about.
Hello Phil, I think you’re on the right road by talking about it.
I’m of the strong belief that sin flourishes in the dark and withers in the light. The best way to conquer sin is by revealing and exposing it. Receive strength through Jesus and seek support through spiritual fellowship.
God Bless, Mark | | Back to Top | | |
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BBBCanada
Registered Member
Date Joined Jun 2001
Total Posts : 2763
| Posted 2/27/2004 8:54 AM (GMT -6) | | | | |
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 2/27/2004 9:46 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by might-be-don
Guilt can be a very potent motivator, just ask your mother. But as children of God, our motivation is love, not guilt.
Yeah, my motivation for not committing this sin rests entirely on my obligation to the parties involved not to do it, and not at all on any sense that it is wrong or bad.
I'm just troubled that I have no guilt. I'm troubled that I don't feel the way I should and usually would. T'is a strange circumstance I find myself in. | | Back to Top | | |
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Tom
Registered Member
Date Joined Jul 2001
Total Posts : 10353
| Posted 2/27/2004 10:44 AM (GMT -6) | | Phil: My motivation for not committing this sin rests entirely on my obligation to the parties involved not to do it, and not at all on any sense that it is wrong or bad.
Tom: If the "obligation" is real, so is the sin of not fulfilling it. The act itself, whatever it is, may not be (formally speaking) sinful (like lust, rape, or believing in the greater good  ), but if previous commitments or circumstances place you in a position of genuine "obligation" to those you love with respect to this act, then however guiltless you may in fact be in committing it, to commit it would be to not fulfill your obligation. And isn't THAT what's really the issue?
Tom | | Back to Top | | |
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 2/27/2004 11:26 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by TGB
Tom: If the "obligation" is real, so is the sin of not fulfilling it. The act itself, whatever it is, may not be (formally speaking) sinful (like lust, rape, or believing in the greater good ), but if previous commitments or circumstances place you in a position of genuine "obligation" to those you love with respect to this act, then however guiltless you may in fact be in committing it, to commit it would be to not fulfill your obligation. And isn't THAT what's really the issue?
Absolutely.
I just wish that violating that obligation felt bad and not normal. | | Back to Top | | |
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Wahoo
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 142
| Posted 2/27/2004 12:57 PM (GMT -6) | | Phil,
I think sometimes we expect guilt because before Christ that's what we were aquianted with.
Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin. James 4:17
Is it possible that the Lord would leave it entirely up to us to decide wether or not something is sin, without having guilt or conviction?
Wahoo | | Back to Top | | |
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 3/1/2004 11:03 AM (GMT -6) | | Well, an update for you all...
God finally broke through the darkness. He finally yelled loud enough to snap me out of my idiocy. I'm finally able to admit how low i've sunk... ugh... 
now it's time to be a man and stop the madness. Thanks for listening... | | Back to Top | | |
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 3/1/2004 12:10 PM (GMT -6) | | Tigress -
We sound alot alike. I have the same problem. In fact, it's that lack of guilt that helped me end up in my current problem. Sexual sin is rough for me. I had myself kinda convinced that since I didn't feel guilty, maybe it was okay. All of the sudden I'm making mistakes I never thought I'd be making again or at all. It's like waking up from sleepwalking.
But I'm taking comfort in Psalms 107:10-22. Comfort and shame. I went from feeling nothing to kinda hating myself.
But I definitely know what you're talking about. Just don't do what I did and embrace it. | | Back to Top | | |
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1Heart
Registered Member
Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 1128
| Posted 3/1/2004 9:05 PM (GMT -6) | | [quote]Originally posted by PhilTheThrill
Tigress -
We sound alot alike. I have the same problem. In fact, it's that lack of guilt that helped me end up in my current problem. Sexual sin is rough for me. I had myself kinda convinced that since I didn't feel guilty, maybe it was okay. All of the sudden I'm making mistakes I never thought I'd be making again or at all. It's like waking up from sleepwalking.
But I'm taking comfort in Psalms 107:10-22. Comfort and shame. I went from feeling nothing to kinda hating myself.
But I definitely know what you're talking about. Just don't do what I did and embrace it.
(Jo-Anne) Phil,
I've been reading this thread and wondering. Not wondering what it is that you've done that is so terrible, but wondering whether or not I should (as a woman) respond here. I really felt compelled to though, and if it does not make anyone here uncomfortable I would like to. I feel like I have something to add to this.
Besides the usual "you're not alone" kind of encouragement. I would be surprised if most men (not to mention, a lot of women) don't struggle with what you are struggling with. And I would be surprised if most here would not agree that often sin "feels good" not "bad." I have personally learned that a lot of things are really a choice. You turn your feet in the right direction and put one foot in front of the other and start walking. I recently heard a brave Christian man give a testimony that was very moving. He was involved in internet pornography (plus) and was speaking to a church group in an evening service. He was honest, real and courageous. Phil - whatever it is that you have done - you are courageous. It takes courage to share that you've failed in some way. Anyway, this young man talked about how we live our lives as Christians seeing how close we can get to the flame (whatever our personal "flame"/temptation is) and how surprised we are when we get burned. His recommendation was to find out what that flame is...go right up to it and face it if you have to - then turn around and run like heck because you're going to get burned and it's going to be very painful.
Here's something you might not have thought of. The enemy tempts us in areas of our lives that He knows we're weak in. These are my thoughts. But, I'm guessing that you have a need of some kind that is not being met and that it would help to find a friend (a man) to talk to about that. I hope that you don't consider this presumptuous on my part to suggest. It might help to find a friend to be mutually accountable with?
Phil, some other thoughts. The Father loves you passionately. There is no place you can fall that is too deep that His love cannot reach you. You will get through this and be able to help others.
I'm not surprised that you don't feel bad. Sometimes we long for something so much that it just doesn't feel bad at all when we give in to it. It's just the opposite and for a Christian, that is definitely confusing.
I'm glad you were courageous enough to share your struggle here. We all have one, but not all of us are as courageous as you.
God Bless. I hope that I'm not out of line by responding here. If I am, please tell me.
Jo-Anne  (oops, Tom you left your cigars here again)
"Sometimes all we can do is go back to the character of God, and drop anchor there."
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 3/1/2004 10:12 PM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by moon_river_j
good stuff
I appreciate your comments, don't worry about being presumptuous or out of line. I definitely appreciate you taking the time to comfort a stranger.
I know that I can't ever sin so much that God will leave me, but I just hate that I had to hit moral rock bottom before I could turn my heart back to Christ. Why do I have to fall that stinkin' far before I get it? I felt no guilt until I had done the worst of it all, and then I felt all of it at once, like a flood. And then I saw the Passion the same day and cried my way through that. I could see myself in the crowd, and in the roman guard, everywhere... I may as well have been whipping him myself...
These are hard days for Phil...
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1Heart
Registered Member
Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 1128
| Posted 3/1/2004 10:22 PM (GMT -6) | | [quote]Originally posted by PhilTheThrill
[quote]Originally posted by moon_river_j
good stuff
(PHIL) {"I appreciate your comments, don't worry about being presumptuous or out of line. I definitely appreciate you taking the time to comfort a stranger.
I know that I can't ever sin so much that God will leave me, but I just hate that I had to hit moral rock bottom before I could turn my heart back to Christ. Why do I have to fall that stinkin' far before I get it? I felt no guilt until I had done the worst of it all, and then I felt all of it at once, like a flood. And then I saw the Passion the same day and cried my way through that. I could see myself in the crowd, and in the roman guard, everywhere... I may as well have been whipping him myself...
These are hard days for Phil..."}
(Jo-Anne) Hi Phil. Sometimes it does seem like our sin hits us over the head (like a 2x4) and it is overwhelmingly painful. The Passion isn't showing here yet, but it definitely sounds like it is having an impact on people's lives.
There is a time for recognition, a time for repentence, even grieving - but remember that the one who accuses you isn't the One who called you by name. "There is therefore now no condemnation..." Watch out for the accuser. He is also a liar and a thief and he comes to steal our joy. Remember Jesus' words to the woman "caught" in the act of adultery when He asks her (rhetorically) who is there to condemn you? Then says, "I do not condemn you." Then He commissions her - puts her back in the stream of life, "Go and sin no more."
It's a day by day, walking it out. I'd be honoured to pray for you.
God Bless,
Jo-Anne (You're not a stranger, you're a brother)
P.S. Ever read a book called "Every Man's Battle" by Steve Arterburn?
(I'm not being sexist here. There is a book called "Every Woman's Battle" as well).
"Sometimes all we can do is go back to the character of God, and drop anchor there."
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Wahoo
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 142
| Posted 3/2/2004 2:42 AM (GMT -6) | | Anyone who wants clarity with sexual issues,
I have some book recommendations too. Popular one right now Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. If you haven't read it or been in some small discussion group about this one then one wont be hard to find. I'm on Chapter 9. Been reading it for about nine months already.
Another is The Mark of a Man by Elizabeth Elliot. The perspective of a woman, right! But it is right on and changed my perspective on things.
There is healing and understanding is a good step in the right direction. | | Back to Top | | |
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PhilTheThrill
Registered Member
Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 95
| Posted 3/2/2004 8:15 AM (GMT -6) | | quote:
Originally posted by moon_river_j
[brdon't be surprised if you face the same temptation, or if it is not only as strong, but perhaps stronger than before.
i'm finding that out...
I feel like the dog in those old TV shows where there are two owners arguing over who actually owns the dog, so they put the dog in the middle and both start calling for it to come, to prove whose dog it is. I started walking away from the bad owner but his voice still affects me. | | Back to Top | | |
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